


It's A Hiccup/Astrid Thing

by Eleen



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Ableism, Ableist Language, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bodyswap, Bullying, Canon Disabled Character, Cat Toothless (How to Train Your Dragon), Disability, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Happy Ending, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III Needs a Hug, Hiccup your crush is showing, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Ok maybe not that slow, POV Alternating, Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, also hiccup may be struggling but he's still a sarcastic little shit, fic gets a little sad but not too much i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27592567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleen/pseuds/Eleen
Summary: Modern AU, Hiccup and Astrid go to the same school. They’re acquaintances at best, rivals at worst. There’s nothing more to it… until something happens that causes them to wake up one morning with their minds still the same, but their bodies swapped.While navigating the peculiar situation they’ve found themselves in, Astrid quickly learns there’s more to Hiccup than meets the eye. And as soon as the initial shock of everything wears off, the two of them find out that they actually get along very well, and end up being friends.…Maybe even more than friends?Bodyswap AU very loosely inspired by the movie It’s A Boy/Girl Thing.
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Toothless, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson
Comments: 57
Kudos: 113





	1. 82%

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the movie It’s A Boy/Girl thing, however it’s definitely not a carbon copy, I wouldn’t even say it qualifies as an AU for the movie. It’s more that the movie gave me the initial idea of Hiccup and Astrid swapping bodies in a modern AU, and then I ran with it. If you’ve seen the movie you’ll be able to pick up on some similarities and references, but it doesn’t follow the same storyline and the characters are veeery different.  
>   
> Everyone is in their last year of high school/secondary school so they’re around 17 years old. School systems are confusing so I just sorta did a weird American/European mix. Teachers will be using students’ first names (it’s quite common here in the Netherlands) and marks will be in percentages, because I found that the easiest for everyone to understand. I imagine this modern Berk to be somewhere in northwest Europe :)  
>   
>  **Please be aware of the following triggers:**  
>  \- **Ableism and ableist slurs** will pop up in this story on occasion. I'll warn at the start of a chapter when a slur is used. There will also be some unintended/accidentally hurtful things that characters say, and Hiccup struggles with internalized ableism.  
> \- Scenes from Hiccup’s POV will occasionally contain **negative self-talk** and there’s hints towards **disordered eating** (not to the point of an actual eating disorder, there is a difference).  
> \- Parts of this story will deal with **self-harm**. I never describe the act itself, but there is a description of what the ‘aftermath’ looks like and it will be discussed by the characters several times, including a scene of a character feeling the urge.  
>   
> These 3 things will be present throughout the story. A few more things will pop up, but those I will warn for per chapter. Oh, and there’s the occasional swearword. If you have any concerns whether or not a specific trigger will show up for you, don’t be afraid to ask in the comments. This story has its dark moments, but it also gets super fluffy at times. Suffice to say this fic is very self-indulgent. Do I project onto my characters? Yes, yes I do.  
>   
> Stay safe, and of course: enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m honestly a bit anxious to post this. It’s my most ambitious fic to date and I really hope you guys will enjoy it! I’ve gotten about 60% of it done now, and I’ll try to update regularly. Anyway, enough talking, let’s get on with it!

It was an exceptionally hot day for this late in September. Like, record-breaking hot. So hot, in fact, that you’d think it was the middle of summer, not the beginning of fall. Astrid was only wearing a tank top and shorts, but she still felt like she was melting. Their school should _really_ start investing in better air conditioning. 

She was sitting in the cafeteria, munching on a ham-and-cheese sandwich and chatting with her friends. Someone suddenly shouted something in a very loud voice, causing several people, including Astrid, to look up.

“Woah, dude, why the fuck are you wearing pants in this weather?”

She turned her head to see what the commotion was about, and saw that the comment was aimed at one of her classmates, Henry Haddock. He was tall and skinny, with auburn hair, green eyes, and freckles _everywhere._ He was, indeed, not wearing shorts of any kind like most of the other boys. Instead, he wore jeans that covered his legs and draped over his converse sneakers slightly. 

“Does it matter?” came Henry’s reply.

“Uh, yeah, because you look fucking _lame_.”

A frown briefly appeared on his face, but in a split second it was gone and he had schooled his expression again, rolling his eyes.

“Whatever,” he said. As he turned to walk off, the guy who was sitting next to loud-voice-guy threw a couple fries at Henry’s back. Astrid saw him flinch slightly before he turned back around.

“Would you look at that, free food! Thank you so much,” he said with mock surprise.

“Hey, Astrid, you listening?” one of her friends, Hannah, asked.

“Hm, sorry, what?” she replied, whipping her head around to look at her friends.

“I asked you if you’re doing anything next week’s Friday. Scott’s throwing a party for some seniors, so obviously we’re all invited.”

“Ugh, _Snotlout?_ Really?” Astrid said.

“C’mon, he’s not _that_ bad,” her friend Carmen said.

“Try having some of his family as a neighbor, I swear every time that guy shows up near my house he tries to hit on me.”

“We’ll fend him off for you, promise. It’ll be fun!” Heather said.

Astrid considered it for a moment. Parties were fun, and she _could_ just avoid Snotlout.

“Are you sure you don’t like him? He’s totally into you, why not go for it?” another friend, Brittany, said.

“How can you _not_ like him? He’s handsome, athletic, his family is wealthy…” Carmen said.

Astrid pulled a face. “You can have him, seriously.”

“But like, Scott’s got everything! Hey, y’know, that cousin of his might be at the party,” Brittany said, leaning forward conspiratorially, _“His_ dad is rich, too, right Astrid? Maybe one of us should pretend to date him and ask him for stuff.”

“You do it, then. There’s no way I’m letting a guy like that touch me, not even for the money,” Carmen said, pulling a disgusted face.

“That’s a bit mean, isn’t it?” Heather asked. 

Carmen snorted. “What? I don’t like him, that’s not a crime, right?” she said.

“No, I meant, using someone for money?” Heather said, frowning. 

“C’mon, Britt, you’re better than that. Don’t settle for being some rich guy’s accessory. And aren’t you already with Dogan?” Astrid said, raising her eyebrows.

“Girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do,” Brittany said, shrugging.

“Guys, c’mon, we’re getting off topic,” Hannah said. “So, Astrid. Are you coming to this party or not?” she asked.

Astrid leaned back in her seat and nodded. “Sure. But only if my parents let me, you know how they can get.”

Astrid walked out of the cafeteria after lunch. Her next period, a double one, was P.E. _Nice._ She hoped they would be doing volleyball today, that was always fun. Or maybe some boxing. She would never say no to boxing.

It turned out that the first thing they were actually going to do was basketball. Definitely not her favorite, but it was still nice. 

The game was going pretty well. Her team had a nice advantage, up until Henry messed up. A couple of people groaned.

“Why are you so shit at basketball? You’re tall, you should be good at it!” one of her classmates said, gesturing at Henry with his arms.

“It’s not just someone’s _height_ that determines whether or not they’re good at this,” he responded, his tone sarcastic. 

“Yeah, we noticed, because you _suck,”_ someone else, Brittany’s boyfriend Dogan, said. Henry frowned.

“Can we stop wasting time and continue the _game,_ please?” Astrid said, annoyed with all of them.

Why couldn’t he just try a little harder? Did he think games like this were beneath him or something?

“Sorry,” Henry mumbled.

They ended up winning, but only _just._ Astrid scored a particularly good point near the end that had her team cheering loudly for her. It lifted her somewhat sour mood considerably.

For the second half of the lesson, they were going to do jumps on trampolines. The teacher, Ms. Atali, asked the class to set some stuff up. Astrid noticed her walk up to Henry and say something to him. He nodded, said something in response, and headed for one of the benches off on the side, sitting down. Astrid narrowed her eyes.

It seemed more people had noticed.

“Hey, why isn’t he joining in like the rest of us?” asked someone.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” asked her friend Hannah.

“That’s something between Henry and me, and none of your concerns,” Ms. Atali replied. “Now, if you would please continue...”

Why _was_ Henry allowed to sit out on things in P.E. so much, though? Did he have some sort of medical issue? Astrid looked at him, sitting there on the bench, and scowled. She couldn’t see anything wrong with him. Maybe he had forged a doctor’s note or something. Wouldn’t be the first time kids did stuff like that, after all. The Thorston twins were practically famous for it.

She resolved to give this lesson her all, to show him that _some_ people actually worked hard to achieve things.

On her way out of the Gym’s changing rooms, she almost literally ran into Henry. He stumbled and winced like he was in pain, then his eyes widened when he noticed Astrid.

“Astrid! Hi, hi Astrid. Hi. Astrid.”

“Uh, hi?”

“Nice shot at the, uh, end there.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

They stared at each other for a second.

“So, did you want something, or...?” she asked.

“Oh! Uh, no, nothing, sorry, just wanted to, y’know, tell you that your goal was nice. Uh, yeah, so. I’ll, uh, go now. Bye!” he said, quickly walking off.

“...Bye?” she said to his retreating back.

...Weirdo.

She had just settled into her seat for Physics when Henry walked in. Ugh, why did they have to have so many classes in common? Hadn’t she seen enough of this guy today already? 

“Look who it is! Our favorite basketball player!” someone shouted.

“Nice to see you too, Claus,” Henry replied, the sarcasm dripping from his voice. He plopped himself down into his seat next to a husky boy with blonde hair, whose name Astrid remembered was Finley.

Astrid met Henry’s eyes for a second. He flushed slightly and immediately looked away again, just as the final bell rang to signify the official start of the lesson. 

“Okay everyone, settle down!” the Physics teacher said, looking around at the class.

“Thank you. Now, before we begin, I’ve got the results of last week’s test here, so I will be handing those out. Remember, these marks are important, so I suggest some of you try a _little_ harder next time.” 

Astrid felt a sudden surge of panic. Was she one of the people who had failed? She had studied hard for that test, but there was this one hard question she’d skipped and left for later, but then she hadn’t had enough time to go back to it, and there was this other one that she just _knew_ she’d gotten wrong, and–

“Astrid, good work as always,” the teacher said pleasantly as he interrupted her thoughts, handing her her marked test. 

82%. 

Astrid bit her bottom lip. That skipped question had cost her dearly. It was by no means a bad mark, but it wasn’t _perfect._

Not good enough.

“Ah, Henry! A perfect score this time, very well done,” she heard the teacher say.

Of course.

She whipped her head around to glare at Henry.

“Oh, thanks,” he said, reaching out for the test with a look of surprise.

Ugh.

Astrid really hated Physics sometimes. She’d mostly picked it because it would look good on college applications, not because she actually _enjoyed_ the subject. She had to study really hard to keep up. Then Henry had to go and get a perfect score _again._

She was still fuming when the bell rang and class was over. 

“Someone’s a little jealous,” came Heather’s teasing voice from her right. 

_“What?”_ Astrid said, turning to glare at Heather.

“He had a better grade than you, you hate it when he does that.”

“There’s no way I would be jealous of someone like _him,”_ Astrid said, feeling stung. 

Seriously? Jealous of _Henry?_ The lazy, sarcastic, clumsy guy with a dragon backpack, of all things? Sure, he never broke any _official_ rules, but he seemed to have a strong level of disregard for the status quo. He never cared about the things he _should_ care about, and then made a big deal out of other things that weren’t important. And seriously, what was up with the black nail polish?

Why did he have to be so… unconventional? He never just did what he was supposed to do. There would be an assignment for Physics about lift and he’d make an essay about a hypothetical wingsuit, of all things. Like, how did he even come up with that? 

She hated how much he got on her nerves. He never bothered to speak up in class, but then whenever he did, he always had to have a smart mouth. Every time they did job orientation, he’d just… sit there and do nothing, like he didn’t care about his future at all. Must be easy, having a dad that rich. 

Astrid scowled as she walked out of school. She said goodbye to Heather and walked towards the bus stop. In the distance she saw Henry, walking up to a car that had just pulled up and getting in. She glared at him. 

He’d always been a grade ahead of her, until last year. It had something to do with a car accident, or something. She had no idea what happened. She only knew about it because her parents had told her once.

Car accident or not, it was _really annoying_ that he was now in her class. She’d always been at the top of every class she was in, but unfortunately, that changed with him. How could someone who cared _so little_ continue to get such good grades? It just wasn’t _fair._

It made her want to study even harder, make sure she was the one who came out on top, so she could rub it in his dumb, pretty, freckled _face_ –

Wait, no, he wasn’t pretty. That’s stupid, why would she think Henry was pretty?

Because he wasn’t. Nope. Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you sure about that, Astrid?  
> Oh, and no idea if anyone picked up on it, but Dogan (last name Dufrain) is Dogsbreath the Duhbrain and Claus is Clueless. Henry and Finley as Hiccup and Fishlegs were probably obvious. I’ll be using Hiccup and Fishlegs for the most part, not their ‘modern’ names. Dogsbreath is gonna be Dogan for most of the story, though.


	2. Neighbour

When Astrid got home, she went on a quick run to clear her head and get rid of some of her frustration. Afterwards, she showered and then made her way into the living room. Her mom greeted her and gestured at her to come join her at the dining table. She turned the laptop she’d been using towards Astrid and explained she’d found another possible scholarship. 

“Oh, and this one. You can apply for this one, too! I wrote down their email addresses for you, here. You’ll write them, won’t you?”

She felt a twinge of guilt as she looked at her mom’s hopeful face. She nodded.

“Thanks, mom.”

“I know you’ll make us proud. Our little girl, off to college so soon already!” her mom said, side-hugging her.

She couldn’t slip now. 

She _had_ to do better than 82%.

“You know what, why don’t you do it right now? Then I’ll get started on tonight’s dinner. Sound like a plan?” her mother asked. Astrid nodded again.

She was just about done with writing the second email when her mom spoke up. 

“Astrid, dear?”

“Yeah?” she said, looking up.

“I need four eggs, but we’ve only got three left. Would you mind going over to the neighbour’s and asking them for one?”

Astrid sighed.

“Sure, mom,” she said, getting up from her seat. She grabbed her keys and put on a pair of flip-flops, then she called a quick “be right back!” to her mom and headed out the door.

She walked out of their own front garden and onto the street, then past the rose bushes, through the wooden arch, and onto the steps of her neighbours’ porch. 

She rang the doorbell and waited.

A few seconds later, the door opened.

There he was again. Of course he had to be the one to open the door.

“...Astrid, hi!” Henry said, looking very surprised. 

“Hey,” she said.

Wait, what was… why was there a cat on his shoulders?

It seemed he had noticed her staring, because he turned his head slightly to look at the cat, then looked back at her.

“Oh, yeah, he does that a lot,” he said nonchalantly. Then he looked at the cat again. “Don’t you, Toothless?” he said to it.

...Toothless? Who the hell names their cat _Toothless_?

She studied the cat for a moment. She’d seen him through the window a couple times, but never up close. He was rather big, and his fur was black and fluffy all over (especially his tail. That was one fluffy-looking tail). He looked at her with piercing lime-green eyes.

“So, uh… What did you want?” Henry asked.

Oh, right, the egg. She came here to ask for an egg.

“My, um, my mom’s cooking dinner and she’s short one egg, so we were wondering if we could borrow one from you guys,” she said. She felt a little awkward, asking Henry for an _egg_ , of all things. Why couldn’t his dad have opened the door, or that guy with the prosthetic arm? Why did it have to be him again?

“Sure. We probably still have some, unless my dad ate them all this morning, of course. H-hey, do you want to come in for a second? It’s cooler inside,” he offered.

“Alright, yeah, sure,” she said, stepping inside. It was indeed a lot cooler than outside. Ah, the joys of air-conditioning. 

As she followed him through the hall and into the living room, she noticed he was walking… weird. Well, _weirder_ , because he always walked a bit funny. But now, he was walking very softly, almost like he was afraid to step on something. What was up with that? 

Oh, wait, maybe that was just because his cat was on his shoulders. Nevermind. 

It was quite the sight, actually.

“You, uh, you can wait here if you want, I'll go check the fridge,” he said.

“Okay.”

While she was waiting, she took the chance to take in the living room. She’d never actually been inside the house before. The room looked very rustic, with lots of wooden furniture and things in muted earth tones. The big flat-screen TV in front of the sofa looked almost out of place. There was a big fireplace that seemed to be the centerpiece of the room, and in one of the corners stood a cat tower. On the walls hung some decorative axes, a particularly pretty painting of a black cat (that must be Toothless), and about a dozen photos of what she presumed to be family. She recognized the gigantic man with the red hair and beard as Henry’s dad, and of course Henry himself was featured in quite a few of them. He was a lot younger in most of the pictures. There was only one that looked recent.

One of the photos featured a younger Stoick (with significantly less facial hair) standing next to a woman with brown hair and high cheekbones, who was the spitting image of Henry. That must be his mother. Astrid had never seen her around, nor was she in any of the other photos. Something must have happened there.

“Here you go,” Henry said, reappearing from the kitchen with an egg carton in one hand. Toothless seemed to have found something else to do, because he was no longer on Henry’s shoulders. Henry handed her the carton.

“I put in two eggs, y’know, just in case your mom ends up needing another one,” he said.

“Oh, thanks,” she said.

“Need anything else?” he asked.

“No, this is it. I gotta get back, I still have homework to do,” she said, making her way over to the door.

“Right, homework. Of course. Well, uh, see you later, then. A-at the class trip tomorrow,” he said, following her to see her out. She stepped outside, into the heat once more.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow. Thanks again,” she said.

“Bye!” he said, holding on to the door.

“Bye,” Astrid said as she walked away.

Okay, maybe that _wasn’t_ so bad. Still awkward, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon time: Gobber would totally like gardening. He’s probably the one who maintains most of the Haddock garden.


	3. Don’t Want To Be Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Knock knock, did someone order angst??  
> Apologies in advance for Astrid being a lil mean here. You know in the first movie, when Hiccup gets good at dragon training and she gets angry and jealous about it? I was kinda going for that Astrid. No worries, I fucking love her! She’ll change her mind :)

Hiccup woke to the sound of his alarm. He sighed, shifted to lie on his back and heard a little _“prrr”_ sound. He cracked open his eyes just as a big ball of black fur walked across his bed and sat down on top of his chest. 

“Hey there, bud. Come to wake me up, huh?” he said, reaching out to pet Toothless. He scratched Toothless’ chin and grinned as the cat closed his eyes in bliss, leaning into his touch. Toothless purred and Hiccup could feel the vibrations in his chest.

He checked his clock and sighed. He wished he could stay here in bed and cuddle with Toothless a little longer, but alas, it was time to get up. 

He got dressed and made his way to the kitchen, Toothless hot on his heels. He meowed and looked up at Hiccup with big, expectant eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll get your food soon, mr. Impatient,” he said fondly, reaching into a cabinet. 

Toothless kept meowing as he twirled around Hiccup’s legs incessantly, knowing food was on the way. Hiccup made quick work of preparing it and put down the bowl with a flourish. Toothless enthusiastically dug in. Hiccup smiled. 

“Good morning, son!” boomed a loud voice suddenly. 

Hiccup jumped slightly in surprise and clutched at his chest. His dad really did not have a quiet setting. Neither did Gobber, for that matter, so he really should be used to it by now. 

“Oh, hi dad. You’re up earlier than I expected. Plans changed?” he asked.

"No, still the same,” Stoick said, waving his hand, “Just wanted to see you before I left, especially since I don’t know exactly when I’ll be back. Shouldn’t be more than a week, though.”

Hiccup nodded in response.

“Nice, eh, ear thingies you’ve got there, son,” Stoick said, gesturing at Hiccup’s ears. 

Hiccup absently reached out to touch one of them. They were black earbuds in the shape of a triangle, engraved to look like the Triforce.

He couldn’t help but be slightly amused by his dad’s statement. It was a stark contrast to the day he’d come home with pierced ears at 14. His dad had been less than thrilled, to put it mildly. Okay, _maybe_ he should’ve told his dad beforehand, but then again, he probably would’ve said no.

Hiccup was glad their relationship had improved since then.

“Thanks, dad. I made them myself, actually. W-well, okay, Gobber helped me a little bit, but, y’know.”

“Ah, I see,” Stoick said, nodding. He looked around the kitchen for a second.

“Did you have breakfast yet? Did you take your meds?” Stoick asked.

“No, I just got up,” Hiccup said, yawning.

“Sit down, I’ll make you something.”

“I’m fine, dad, you don’t have to,” Hiccup said. He’d rather just grab a piece of fruit or something.

“What would you like? Should I make some pancakes?”

“I’m not hungry, really,” Hiccup insisted, shaking his head.

“You’re not getting out of breakfast this time, so sit, you’ll need the energy at the museum today,” Stoick said, turning his back to Hiccup to grab stuff from the fridge. Hiccup sighed in defeat and sat down at the kitchen table, watching Toothless as he licked his bowl clean. When Toothless was absolutely positive there was no food left, he made his way over to Hiccup and climbed on Hiccup’s shoulders, draping himself over his human like a big fluffy scarf.

“Hi bud. Enjoy your food?” Hiccup said to Toothless. The cat answered by headbutting Hiccup’s cheek.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Hiccup said, grinning.

Hiccup scrolled through his Instagram feed on his phone while Stoick prepared breakfast. First up was a post from Fishlegs, who had posted some photos of him dressed up as his D&D character, Thor Bonecrusher. Hiccup left a comment complementing his friend on the getup and scrolled further down. He snorted at a post describing Ruff and Tuff’s latest antics with their lizards Barf and Belch, rolled his eyes at Snotlout boasting about something in a caption, and felt a flutter in his chest when he saw a post from Astrid. It was a selfie with one of her friends, Heather. He stared at the photo for a moment. Even in a simple selfie, Astrid was gorgeous. 

Then he saw Dogan had commented on it. He knew he shouldn’t do it, that it could only make him feel bad, but he clicked on Dogan’s username anyway and opened up his stories. He tapped past a picture of Dogan with his friends and several selfies of him kissing his girlfriend (which Hiccup _really_ could’ve gone his whole life without), then his heart did an anxious leap in his chest when he recognized himself in the next photo. It was a picture of him at school, from yesterday. His face wasn’t visible, but it was clearly him. Dogan had put a caption underneath it that read:

_“lmao imagine wearing pants like that in this weather why is he always like this”_

Hiccup frowned. 

He knew going through Dogan’s stories had been a mistake. 

Why did he have to point it out to all of his followers like that? Claus shouting it through the cafeteria had been bad enough. 

He wondered how Dogan would react if he actually knew why Hiccup never wore shorts. Would he react worse, or better? 

Probably worse. Dogan wasn’t exactly a nice person. 

Then again, Snotlout had changed, and so had Dagur and Eret. They were all pretty okay now. Could Dogan be less of an asshole someday? Hiccup hoped that ‘someday’ would be soon.

“Here you go, Hiccup. Eat up!” Stoick said, pulling Hiccup out of his thoughts. Stoick put a plate of pancakes in front of him. They were a _little_ burned, but at least Stoick didn’t burn down the entire kitchen. All in all, it was a win. Hiccup was glad Gobber was usually the one to cook, though. 

“Thanks,” Hiccup said, not feeling very enthusiastic. Any hunger he might’ve still had had vanished after seeing Dogan’s photo. His leg gave a nasty twinge.

“Anything wrong, son?” Stoick asked. 

“No,” Hiccup said, shaking his head and flashing his dad a quick smile. He picked up his fork to start an attempt on the pancakes. His dad had made these for him, the least he could do was actually eat them.

A little while later, Hiccup climbed up the steps on the bus (with a little difficulty, because stairs _really_ weren’t his best friend) and his eyes quickly scanned over the rows of seats in front of him. He caught sight of Fishlegs and hurried over, sitting down next to his friend.

“Hey Hiccup, saved you a seat,” he said in greeting.

“Thanks,” Hiccup replied, shooting his friend a grateful smile.

“You excited for today?”

“I guess. I know you are,” Hiccup said, shrugging. 

“Oh yeah, definitely! I’ve already looked up their website. They have this section that’s all about the old Norse gods, and there’s a recreation of an old authentic Viking house, and right now they got an exhibition about the myth of there being dragons on Berk–”

“They’ve got stuff on dragons?! Really?” Hiccup interjected, suddenly feeling much more excited.

“Yeah! There’s even a reconstruction of what was supposedly the ‘Monstrous Nightmare,’ I can’t _wait_ to see it in real life!” Fishlegs rattled on, going into a detailed explanation of said dragon.

Hiccup was truly glad to have a friend like Fishlegs. At least the accident was good for something. Lose a leg, gain a friend. He’d known he’d have to redo the school year and he had been apprehensive, but Fishlegs had been one of his new classmates. They’d sat together at lunch one day because they both had no one else to sit with, and they actually ended up having a very engaging conversation about dragons (after Fishlegs had spotted Hiccup’s backpack) and they had quickly become close friends after that.

The bus slowed to a halt as they pulled up to the museum, and everyone filed out as the teachers started checking names.

“Alright, everyone! I will be handing out the assignments that you will use to write a report on the museum. These _will_ be graded, so please try to pay attention. Remember: research, analyze, describe! Oh, and needless to say: please mind the rules and _behave yourselves,”_ one of the accompanying teachers said, eyeing the Thorston twins significantly. A ripple of laughter went through the crowd as Ruffnut and Tuffnut tried to look innocent and failed miserably.

Another teacher spoke while the first one started handing out sheets of paper with the assignments on them.

“The assignment, and the written report, shall be done in pairs,” she said. 

The crowd erupted with noise as people immediately started talking to each other and looking around for partners. Hiccup and Fishlegs made eye contact and nodded to one another.

 _“However,”_ the teacher cut in, raising her voice to make herself heard, “the pairs are pre-determined by last name this time.”

Groans and protests could immediately be heard. The teacher ignored them, reminded them of the importance of cooperating with people who _weren’t_ part of your friend group, and started listing names.

“...Then we have Henry Haddock and Astrid Hofferson, Finley Ingerman and...”

Hiccup’s heart fluttered in his chest. Astrid. He was paired up with _Astrid._

He thought he’d gotten over his silly crush on the neighbourhood girl, but seeing her at school every day had awakened it again.

He looked over at her and saw her scowling at him, which diminished his feeling of happiness somewhat. He guessed she really wanted to do this project with a friend, not with him. They got paired up sometimes because of their surnames’ proximity to one another, and it was both the most awesome thing ever and the cruelest form of torture. He always managed to make a fool out of himself whenever Astrid Hofferson was involved. He took in a deep breath and shot her a nervous smile, which she did not return. Oh dear. This was gonna be fun.

Okay, so maybe he was a bit dramatic sometimes. The day was going fine. There were some awkward moments here and there while they wandered around the museum, but no major mishaps (so far). And every time she looked at him with those blue eyes, it made the butterflies in his stomach flutter. She even _smiled_ a couple times.

He wished he could spend more time with her.

They had very little trouble with the questions. Hiccup admired Astrid’s ability to connect things in her mind and draw conclusions from them. The questions about dragons were the easiest, most of those he could already answer before visiting the exhibit. They still did, though, because no way was he going to skip _any_ exhibit about dragons. She looked surprised when he started talking excitedly about his favorite dragon, the Night Fury. Then he realized he’d been rambling, and promptly shut up again.

The day was slowly coming to an end. There was only about half an hour or so left, and then it was time to gather back at the bus. They’d lost some of their precious time when Snotlout came up to them and not-so-subtly asked them for some of the answers. Of course, Snotlout being Snotlout, he also threw in some attempts at flirting. Astrid was not amused. Neither was Hiccup, for that matter. 

Now, they were hurriedly making their way over to the exhibit about old Norse gods to answer their last set of questions. They were about halfway there when Hiccup almost tripped over a tile on the floor, catching himself just in time. He sucked in a sharp breath and winced. His leg was aching _so bad_ after having to walk around the museum the whole day. The pain had spread to his hips and lower back as well. It _sucked._ It was this constant walking-and-then-briefly-standing that really did a number on him. 

He slowed down his pace so he could grab some painkillers from his backpack. 

...And then he inwardly cursed himself, because he had used the last one yesterday and had forgotten to replace them. Out of all the days for him to forget, it just _had_ to be this one. Of course. 

He supposed he deserved to feel miserable right now, if he had been dumb enough to forget earlier. He _knew_ today would involve a lot of walking. They’d even offered him to skip this excursion, but he’d refused. He thought could do this. 

Now, he wasn’t so sure.

“C’mon, we need to keep going, you know we don’t have much time left,” Astrid called over her shoulder. 

He fumbled with his bag, trying to close it again, while he was also trying to walk as fast as he could.

“I’m sorry, hold on, just gimme a minute–”

“C’mon, can’t you go faster? We’re gonna miss the bus at this rate,” she said.

“Hey, I’m trying! I-it’s just been a long day, and I–”

“Can’t handle walking around a museum for half a day? Too used to your dad driving you everywhere?” she asked, sounding irritated. 

“Excuse me, _what_?” he asked, feeling a little affronted. His dad had nothing to do with this.

“You heard me. Stop wasting time and get a move on,” she said, throwing him a glare over her shoulder and then turning her back on him again.

“But I’m _not_ wasting time! We don’t have to go this fast, I really don’t see the problem,” he said.

“My _problem_ is that I want to be there on time, and that would be a lot easier if you _just hurried up_ ,” she said, quickening her pace.

Was he _really_ that slow? Had he been holding her up the entire day?

Stupid leg.

“I can’t, okay?” he said through clenched teeth, distracted by a particularly nasty sting shooting all the way up to his thigh.

 _“Why?”_ Astrid said, sounding _really_ annoyed now.

He couldn’t tell her about the leg, he just _couldn’t._

“If you would just give me a second–”

Astrid suddenly spun around to face him.

“Oh my gods, Henry, can you stop being so _useless_?” she yelled, her voice ringing loudly through the hall.

_Useless._

He stopped walking abruptly. His breath caught in his throat and his chest suddenly felt very tight. 

Out. He needed out. 

He spun around and walked in the opposite direction as fast as he could, ignoring the searing pain in his leg and Astrid yelling “What the fuck, where you are going?!”

It felt like everyone he passed was staring at him while he was on his way to find somewhere quiet. _Finally,_ his saving grace was a restroom to his right. He picked a stall, fumbled with the lock for a second, and leaned heavily against the door with his back. 

He pressed his hands to his face, feeling wetness on his cheeks. He cursed his weakness. He was crying over something so _stupid._

_Real men don’t cry. You’re pathetic. How can_ anyone _believe you’re your father’s son?_

A sob escaped his mouth and he hoped no one else was in here to hear him. 

_“Can you stop being so useless?”_ she had said.

Astrid thought he was useless. 

He knew he’d never get a chance with her, that she would never look at him twice, but it still hurt.

Unbidden, memories flashed through his mind. 

_“I bet your father is real proud of how useless you are. Oh, hey, that’s a perfect nickname for you!”_

_“Hey Useless, what did you do this time?”_

_“You really can’t do anything right, can you, Useless?”_

_“You don’t belong here, Useless. No one likes you.”_

_“Look guys, Useless made a fool out of himself again!”_

_“Does your dad ever wish it was you who died, instead of your mom, Useless? I bet he does.”_

“I don’t want to be useless,” he whispered to no one through clenched teeth.

He closed his eyes and balled his fists, digging his nails into his palms. He could hear his own ragged breathing and pathetic sobbing over the rapid pounding of his heart. 

He needed his brain to shut up. 

This was a mess. He had to go out and finish up the assignment with Astrid, not sit in here and cry his eyes out over something _ridiculous._

He really was useless.

He had no idea how much time passed, but eventually the tears stopped coming and his breathing evened out again. He grabbed his phone and sure enough, he had a couple messages from Astrid on WhatsApp. 

14:03 | **Astrid:** _Where did you go??  
_ 14:03 | **Astrid:** _I’m not finishing this on my own Haddock_

14:05 | **Astrid:** _I thought you were better than this_

14:09 | **Astrid:** _Hello???_  
14:09 | **Astrid:** _Please answer me this is not funny_

14:13 | **Hiccup:** _I’m so sorry  
_ 14:13 | **Hiccup:** _Where are you? I’ll come right over_

14:13 | **Astrid:** _Cafeteria. Hurry up we REALLY don’t have much time left_

Hiccup wiped the last of his tears away and walked over to one of the sinks to splash some water on his face. He looked at his face in the mirror with disgust. Surely, everyone would be able to tell he was crying, he looked _pathetic._ He had no choice but to go out again, though.

He exited the restroom and quickly made his way over back to Astrid. Gods, what must she think of him?

Maybe it was something in his expression, or the fact that his eyes must still be red and puffy, but when Astrid looked up at him, she didn’t look angry. She just looked relieved.

“There you are.”

“Astrid, look, I’m sorry, I do want us to get a good grade for this, I...” he said awkwardly, one of his hands going up to the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. Astrid shook her head and sighed. 

“Let’s just finish this,” she said curtly, starting to walk back towards the exhibit about gods.

“Right.”

As he lay in bed later that night, his mind kept playing over the events of the day. 

He thought he’d gotten better. He hadn’t. He couldn’t even walk like a normal person.

_Useless._

He had made Astrid mad. 

_Useless._

He had fled and cried in a bathroom stall, for fuck’s sake.

_Useless._

_Useless. Useless. Useless._

He didn’t want to be useless.

Maybe he didn’t want to be himself anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎵 Be careful what you wish for ‘cause you just might get it 🎵


	4. See It In A Different Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a quote from the song [ Anthem Of The Lonely](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ7htQofqnE) by Nine Lashes.

The first thing her sleep-addled brain registered was the sound of an unfamiliar alarm going off.

...Weird. One of her friends must’ve messed with her phone’s settings. Or maybe it did an update or something.

Astrid groaned and buried her face deeper into her pillow. Why was it morning already? She would’ve gladly slept for another hour. Or two. Or ten.

Well, time to face the music. She slowly cracked open her eyes, blinked a few times… 

And then her eyes widened to their full extent as she shot up in bed, her heart starting to race in her chest.

 _This wasn’t her bedroom. This wasn’t her own bed._

Where was she? What happened? Did she get kidnapped by a cult as a virgin sacrifice? No, wait, hold on, this didn’t look like an underground dungeon. Or a prison. 

In fact, it looked like a teenage boy’s bedroom. A rather nerdy one, judging from the amount of geeky posters, model planes, weird gadget-thingies, and dragon statues. It was cluttered, but in an organized sort of way. Huh. Interesting. 

The question remained, however, _where was she and how did she end up here?_ Did she sleepwalk into this stranger’s bedroom somehow? She definitely would’ve remembered if she had gone home with someone, especially if that someone happened to be male. So, she didn’t end up here out of her own accord. 

Did whoever this room belonged to abduct her? Was she in danger?

She scanned the room some more. For the moment, she seemed to be alone. 

She decided to get up and gather as much information as she could. She pulled the unfamiliar covers off her, swung her legs out of bed, heaved herself up… and promptly fell flat on her face.

Ow.

She sat back up, looked down at her body, and froze.

She stared. And stared. And kept staring. 

After what felt like an eternity, but what could have been mere seconds, she reached out a hand. A hand with long, slender, bony fingers _that definitely didn’t look like hers._ The black nail polish reminded her of… 

But that couldn’t be, right?

She stared at it.

She was almost too afraid to touch it, because that would make it more real.

Where her left lower leg should have been, was instead a knee and a stump. No shin, no foot, nothing. Just a stump, covered in scar tissue, peeking out from under pajama pants that were shortened on that side.

“What the _fuck,”_ she heard herself whisper, in a voice that didn’t sound like her own.

That sounded like…

There was no way.

She was dreaming. She must be dreaming. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.

She took in the rest of what she could see of her body– or, well, it wasn’t _her_ body. And yet it was?

It looked like a teenage boy’s body, with long, gangly limbs and pale skin, littered with freckles. 

Yep, definitely wasn’t her body.

If this was really who she thought it was…

She glanced around, hoping to spot a mirror somewhere in the room, but she had no such luck. Maybe there was a bathroom somewhere?

She tried to stand up to start her search, only to be once again reminded of the fact that this body missed a left foot. 

Okay, _shit._ This was hard. 

She managed to pull herself up with the help of the bed and then hopped towards the door, holding on to various pieces of furniture along the way. In the back of her mind, she vaguely noted that they seemed to be arranged in such a manner for exactly this purpose. 

She opened the door and was met with the sight of a hallway, sunlight streaming through a window onto the wooden floorboards beneath her feet. _Foot._ She breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed the door directly to her right was slightly ajar, and behind it was a room that definitely looked like a bathroom. She hopped inside and quickly located the sink, a big mirror with a dark wooden frame hanging above it.

Taking in a deep breath, she hopped over to the sink, leaning on it for support, and looked up.

She was met with a familiar face.

_It was indeed Henry Haddock._

She gasped and touched her face with one hand, seeing the young man in the mirror do the same. She looked down at Henry’s legs.

...Well. 

That definitely explained why he was so clumsy sometimes. And why he was so reluctant to participate in P.E. and was allowed to sit out sometimes. And why he never wore shorts. _And_ why he walked a bit funny.

_He was missing the lower half of his left leg._

That accident must have been much worse than she’d thought.

...Oh gods.

She had shouted at a disabled kid because he was walking slow.

_She had told him he was useless._

And for whatever reason, _she_ was now the one in control of his body.

\- ♢ -

One house down, someone else was having an internal freakout over the fact that _they were in someone else’s body._ And worse, Hiccup was in Astrid’s body. His _crush_ Astrid. The girl who kept appearing in his dreams. And this? This must be a dream, too. It was impossible, right?

Nope, not impossible, just improbable. Because this was definitely his reality at the moment.

Hiccup looked down at himself – at Astrid’s self? – and felt… incredibly flustered. He had boobs. Astrid’s boobs. He actually had Astrid’s boobs. That meant he also had– _oh gods._

Sure, he’d thought about Astrid’s body countless times, had thought about what it might look like, or… _feel_ like, but this? This was _not_ what he had in mind. 

Nope. Never in a million years. 

Something occurred to him. He suddenly felt like he was _violating_ her. It felt wrong to look down at Astrid’s (covered) boobs, to imagine certain _parts_ that for whatever reason he now seemed to be in control of. 

He dragged his hands – Astrid’s hands – over his face. This was all kinds of messed up.

She was going to kill him, for sure.

Hold on a second… if he was in Astrid’s body, was she in his?

Fuck.

Well, so much for keeping his missing limb on the down-low. She’d probably want even less to do with him. And she’d be able to see his body, possibly see the scars… Oh, this was _bad._

Hiccup bounced a leg up and down nervously as he sat on Astrid’s bed. It felt really, really weird, suddenly having two organic limbs again. The thought unnerved him a little bit, even. He fidgeted with his hands. His brain was overflowing with thoughts and worries and questions and doom scenarios and–

“Okay, Hiccup, calm down, this is getting you nowhere,” he muttered to himself, looking around the room and seeing what he presumed was Astrid’s wardrobe. Clothes. That would be a start.

He stood up and almost fell over. His balance was off. Huh. He had no idea how much he had adapted to his leg.

He quickly gathered some clothes, hoping it would be an okay combination and not a total fashion disaster, and then turned bright red at the thought he’d eventually have to put on underwear as well. He closed his eyes as much as he could, not wanting to ogle Astrid’s body any more than he already had to. He struggled with the bra for a bit, especially as he did _not_ want to accidentally flash himself, but eventually he managed to put it on.

Having successfully clothed himself, he figured he should head over to his house and check if Astrid was indeed in his body. Because if she was… She would definitely need some help with the prosthetic. 

Hiccup’s suspicions were confirmed when he tapped on his window a couple times and his own voice _(wow_ that was weird) could be heard cursing loudly. He supposed he was lucky now that his room was on the ground floor, or else he would’ve had to climb up a tree or something. He had begrudgingly agreed to move rooms after he’d lost his leg, because even after he’d gotten out of the wheelchair, walking up two flights of stairs every time with either crutches or a fake leg was rather inconvenient.

So, there he was, watching his own body slowly hop towards the window (yep, she definitely needed help on the prosthetic front). He met his own pair of green eyes as Astrid opened the window.

“Hi Astrid,” he said, grinning nervously. 

Astrid just looked at him for a moment, obviously coming to the same conclusion of _‘holy heck we actually swapped bodies somehow,’_ and then motioned for him to come in. He did, climbing through the window, promptly tripping over his now-suddenly-organic-again foot, and rolling in an undignified heap at Astrid’s feet. Foot. His foot. His body’s foot?

“Henry. What the _fuck_ is going on?” she hissed as he picked himself up off the floor.

“I have no idea. This is officially the weirdest thing to have ever happened in my life. Which is saying a lot–”

“Yeah, _no kidding,”_ Astrid said with a huff, interrupting him. She started to move, but must’ve forgotten Hiccup’s body was missing a leg, because she almost fell over. Hiccup caught her just in time and he clumsily guided her to the bed, where they both sat down.

“This is just so– ugh! I can’t _believe_ this is happening!” Astrid said loudly, balling up her fists. She was breathing hard and she had a scowl on her face. Hiccup’s face. Wow, this would take a while to get used to.

“How the _fuck_ are you not freaking out about this?!” she continued, whipping her head around to look at him. 

“Woah, woah, hey, calm down, trust me, I’m freaked out too,” he pleaded, holding out his hands out in front of him in a placating gesture.

“How am I supposed to be calm when I’m– and you are– this is– I just–”

“Hey, hey, Astrid, it’s gonna be okay, we’ll figure this out, just _breathe,_ okay?”

Astrid’s nostrils flared and for a second, it looked like she was going to say something else, but then she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, collecting herself.

“Okay. Now what?” she asked.

“Well, uh, maybe–”

“Wait,” she suddenly said, looking him up and down, her eyes narrowing, “You’re wearing clothes, not pajamas. You changed clothes. Oh my gods. Did you– _I swear if you–_ I–”

Hiccup’s eyes widened and he felt his face growing hot. 

“I-I didn’t! I swear!” he said, frantically waving his hands, “I didn’t look! I kept my eyes closed, promise! I knew I had to come here, b-because of my leg, and I didn’t want to go out in just your pajamas either, I’m so sorry, I didn’t ask for this to happen, I don’t know, I just… I promise I didn’t look…” he babbled, slowly trailing off.

Astrid’s face slowly seemed to relax again. She sighed.

“Okay, I believe you. I guess that makes sense,” she said. “But you _better_ keep your eyes closed,” she added. Hiccup nodded vigorously.

“Promise.”

They were silent for a moment as Hiccup’s thoughts began to race again. _What are we gonna do? How did this happen? Will we be stuck like this forever? What has she seen of my body? Is she disgusted by it?_

“...So, what do we do?” Astrid eventually asked, crossing her arms.

“I have no idea.”

\- ♢ -

Astrid couldn’t _believe_ this was actually happening. She was still hoping this was all just some incredibly lucid dream, and she’d wake up in her own bed, in her own _body,_ any moment now.

She looked at Henry, who was pacing around the room, talking animatedly.

“Okay, so. We’ve established that we both haven’t done anything out of the ordinary, neither of us have done any weird demon-worshipping or voodoo rituals, so that can’t be it… We haven’t bought any creepy dolls…” he rattled on, counting on his fingers. 

“Oh, hey, maybe it’s just a-a, y’know, a one day thing!” he suddenly said, gesturing with his arms and turning to her. “So what if we just... called in sick or something? Until things are back to normal?” he asked, looking hopeful.

“Nope. I am _not_ missing school over this,” she said, crossing her arms. It was just like him to suggest something like that.

“...Okay,” he said slowly, deflating again, “but we don’t share all the same classes, so technically you’d _still_ miss some of it,” he continued, raising an eyebrow. She shot him a glare.

 _“Not_ helping right now, Henry. And you better pay attention in all of my classes or I _will_ murder you, I swear.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I got it,” he said, holding up his hands. “Anyway, uh. Okay, going to school. I, um… You – or, I mean, my body – can’t go to school like that,” he said, gesturing at Astrid’s legs.

Shit, of course. _The leg thing._

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that’s...” she looked down at the floor, suddenly feeling awkward. “I-I had no idea… about your leg, I mean.”

“It’s okay, I don’t exactly go around telling everyone ‘Hi there, my name’s Hiccup and I’ve got a fake leg,’” he said.

“Do many people know about it?” she asked, curious.

“No, just family, basically. And Fishlegs.”

“...Fishlegs? she said, confused.

“Oh, uh, I meant Finley Ingerman, my friend. Fishlegs is his nickname.”

“Ooh, you mean _him!_ Huh, guess you both have weird nicknames.”

“Thanks,” Henry said, snorting. “You can call me Hiccup, too, by the way. It’s… I prefer it, actually.”

She hummed, nodding.

“Okay, so, leg,” she said.

“Y-yeah. Um, can you… Maybe not show it, or mention it to people?” Hiccup said, wringing his hands. 

Why didn’t he want people to know about it?

She nodded. “Sure. But, um, how does it work? How do you… I mean, I have no idea, I’ve never...”

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “I’ll show you how to put the prosthetic on, and you can take the crutches to school. Took me ages ‘til I could walk on my own without them, and I still need them from time to time.”

“Now that you mention it, you do walk on crutches sometimes,” she said. She’d never given it much thought before, but now it made perfect sense. 

“Yeah. Okay, let me grab–”

 _“Hiccup? You up, laddie?”_ yelled a voice with a thick Scottish accent from down the hall. 

Fuck.

They looked up at each other wide-eyed, both frozen in place for a second.

“Uh, y-yeah, I’m up!” Astrid yelled back over her shoulder in Hiccup’s voice. Then she turned to him again.

“Now what? What do I do?!” she whispered urgently.

“Okay, so, that’s Gobber, a family friend, basically my uncle at this point, he’s often around whenever my dad’s away for work,” he quickly whispered back, turning around and walking across the room. What was he… Ah, okay, he was grabbing the prosthetic.

“Here, this is how it works...”

Hiccup showed her how to put on the prosthetic, suddenly looking rather nervous. It was really weird to have her _own_ hands touching her, knowing it was actually Hiccup who was touching her. It didn’t feel as invasive as she thought it would. Maybe that was just because of the surrealness of the situation, though.

After the leg was on, he handed her the crutches and they did a couple practice steps. 

It wasn’t an easy task. Hiccup lived with this every single day? How had she just… never noticed it before? All the signs were there. She had just never bothered to put 2 and 2 together.

“...Okay, I think I’ve got the hang of this, at least with the crutches,” she said. “And now you’ve really got to go, or else you’re gonna be late for school, which would mean _I_ would be late.”

“Oh, okay, yeah,” Hiccup said, turning towards the window, then he stopped and turned back around. 

“Wait. I don’t know your timetable.”

“Oh, shit, of course. I’ll text it to you,” Astrid said, looking around for her phone on instinct, only to then realize her phone was in her own room, not Hiccup’s.

“Crap, phones. I-I didn’t bring yours, I’m sorry–” he began.

“It’s okay, Hen– Hiccup. I’m guessing you had other things on your mind.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” he said with a nervous laugh, “I’ll, uh, bring it to you later, at school?”

“Sure.”

“Do you want to borrow mine, for now? Y’know, in case of emergency and stuff? It’s over there,” he said, pointing to his bedside table.

“Good plan. Wait, that means you still don’t have my timetable… Hold on, I got it memorized for the most part, I’ll write it down.”

“Thanks,” he said, sounding relieved.

Astrid had just started writing down her class schedule when she stopped again.

“...Wait, is your handwriting _really_ this terrible? Can you read this?”

Hiccup took one look at her and then, to her surprise, he snorted.

“I’m left-handed. Try the other hand.”

Oooh. Yeah, okay, that made sense. Another thing she’d never noticed. 

She switched the pen she was holding to her left hand, and indeed, now everything was much more legible. How weird that she was now in Hiccup’s body, writing in his handwriting. It was nice to look at, actually. Not some ugly scrawl, but instead neat, loopy, and slightly slanted to the right. Her own writing was rounder and bigger, and more disconnected.

“Much better, here you go,” she said, grinning. “Oh, and let me fix my hair before you go. I look like a mess,” she added, reaching out and swiftly re-braiding her hair. Or was it Hiccup’s hair now? Ugh, how confusing.

After Hiccup left, Astrid quickly got changed. She had expected him to have a giant wardrobe or something, but it was rather modest. Same amount of clothes she had, basically. Not that she could wear her own clothes at the moment, seeing as she currently _wasn’t in her own body._ Gods, this was weird. 

Hiccup had promised her not to look at her body naked, so she guessed it was only fair she didn’t either. That didn’t change the fact that she could _feel_ she now had a certain part of male anatomy. She shuddered. Hiccup wasn’t… terrible to look at, but this? Why did this have to happen again?? She’d have to _pee_ with that thing.

_WHY?!_

Shaking her head to get rid of _that_ particular thought, she readied herself to get out of Hiccup’s bedroom and meet Gobber.

On the way there, she was met with a big black fur ball who hissed at her and promptly sprinted off. That must’ve been Toothless. What was up with him?

“Ah, there you are! Was beginning to wonder when you’d show up,” Gobber said as she walked into the living room. 

Aha. Gobber was the man with the prosthetic arm. That made sense. She vaguely wondered how he could have missed overhearing her and Hiccup earlier, but who knows. He would surely be asking some questions if he’d actually heard anything. 

“Sorry, bed was too comfy,” she said.

“Now, I know you don’t particularly like breakfast, but we are not leavin’ until you’ve had a few bites,” Gobber said.

Wait, Hiccup didn’t like breakfast?! But that was the most important meal of the day!

“Alright, I’ll eat some,” she said, hoping to sound exasperated and reluctant, and not at all excited. She crossed the room and said down at a big, dark-wooden table where her plate stood. Gobber sat down opposite of her as she started eating.

“By the way, are you okay, laddie? You looked a wee bit sad yesterday. Just thought I’d ask.”

...Hiccup had been sad yesterday?

“I’m okay. But, um, thanks for asking.”

Gobber nodded in response. They sat in silence while Astrid finished breakfast. It wasn’t a type of cereal they ever had at home (it was a lot more sugary), but it was nice. When she was done, Gobber stood up.

“Alright. I’ve already fed Toothless, so don’t you worry about that. Now, go grab your bag and let’s go.”

Okay, she _really_ had to ask Hiccup what was up with that cat’s name.

She followed Gobber outside, to a silver pick-up truck. It didn’t look super new or high-tech, but she could see it was well-maintained. It was the car she usually saw Hiccup leave and arrive in. The expensive-looking black Tesla belonging to Hiccup’s dad was absent from the driveway, which made sense, because Hiccup had said his dad was out of town. 

Gobber motioned for the crutches she was leaning on. It was a miracle she didn’t fall as she handed them to him and pulled herself into the passenger seat.

“One of those bad leg days, eh?”

“Uh, yeah,” she said. _Something like that._

“Yep, had one myself yesterday.”

Did he mean his arm? Or did he also miss a leg? Gods. These guys were her neighbors, and she never even knew. Not that it was her _right_ to know, of course, they didn’t owe her anything. 

Still. She should have noticed.

She watched the scenery whizz by outside through the car window and found her thoughts wandering. She suddenly wondered if Hiccup was ever still afraid of getting inside of a car. She was fairly certain he’d lost his leg in that accident, she vaguely remembered him having two whole legs when they were younger. It must’ve been traumatic. Maybe that’s why he was always driven to school by either Gobber or his dad. 

Maybe she shouldn’t have assumed it was just a rich kid thing. Now that she thought about it, she used to see him ride his bike a lot.

“Say, Hiccup, have you thought any more about those driving lessons?”

“Hm?” Astrid said, shaken from her thoughts.

“I know you weren’t sure and said you’d think about it, _so_ , have you thought about it?” Gobber asked, shooting her a quick look and then focusing on the road again.

She was 99% sure Hiccup had not thought any more about it, at least not today. Driving lessons were probably the last thing on his mind right now. 

She sighed. Driving lessons would be nice. She wished _she_ could take them. But they were so expensive… 

“...I’m still not sure,” she answered.

“That’s okay. Take your time, lad.”

That answer slightly took her by surprise.

“Thanks. I will,” she said, feeling a little lighter somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative title for this one was _“this is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife”_   
> Also this whole chapter was basically just Hiccup and Astrid screaming WHAT’S GOING ON at the top of their lungs (wow, that’s a lot of music references. I’ll stop now)


	5. Right Thing To Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if Hiccup in Astrid’s body and Astrid in Hiccup’s body gets confusing! I tried putting it in every now and again like the characters themselves need to be reminded of it as well (because to be honest, they totally would). Also, I’m using the person’s pronouns, not the body’s. So Hiccup in Astrid’s body is still referred to as he/him by the story (by his and Astrid’s POV), because that’s what he identifies as etc. Hope that makes sense. Let me know if there’s ever any part that confuses you.

Hiccup had gone back to Astrid’s house after meeting with her, foolishly hoping he could sneak in without her parents noticing. 

...He had no such luck.

“Where were you, dear?” came a female voice from the kitchen. 

Crap. Astrid’s mom.

“Oh, I uh…”

Quick, Hiccup, think of something… 

Oh!

“I was… just out on my morning run, y’know, the usual,” he said, smiling awkwardly, just as Astrid’s mom appeared in front of him.

“But you’re not wearing your running clothes,” she said, frowning.

“Oh, I, uh, already changed,” he chuckled nervously. She looked a little surprised, but seemed to have bought his excuse.

“...Alright. Well, come on,” she said, grabbing him by the arm and steering him towards the kitchen. She sat him down in front of a big bowl of oatmeal that was topped with banana slices, with some kind of fruit juice, a bagel, and a boiled egg off to the side.

“Eat up, because remember, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!”

He inwardly groaned. He was _really_ not hungry right now. And this was… _a lot._

“I’ve really got to hurry up, but I’m glad I got to see you for a minute,” she said, checking her bag for something.

“Oh, uh, yeah, me too. H-have a nice day.”

“You too, darling,” she said, bending down and kissing him on the cheek. He jumped slightly in surprise. 

He felt rather flustered all of a sudden as she walked off.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, dear, your dad fixed your bike last night,” she called from the hallway a minute later.

Right, he had to go to school as Astrid today. That meant being driven by Gobber or his dad was out of the question. 

He felt his stomach twist.

“Uh, thanks! Bye!” he called, right as he heard the front door close.

He looked back at his breakfast. 

...Yeah, there was absolutely no way he was going to eat all of that.

As he located Astrid’s blue bike and keys, he thought of his own bike gathering dust in their shed somewhere. The last time he had ridden it was before the accident, more than a year ago. He probably wouldn’t even fit on it now, he’d grown so much. He’d have to get a new one. Someday.

He put Astrid’s bag in the basket in front of her bike and stepped on. He wobbled a bit as he pushed off, but he quickly got the hang of it again. Luckily he still knew the route to school. 

His mind drifted to the abandoned, half-finished motorcycle hidden away in a corner of Gobber’s workshop. That was even worse than the bike. He remembered feeling such excitement as he worked on it, looking forward to being old enough to start taking driving lessons.

It felt like a lifetime ago.

In many ways, his life was divided into ‘before accident’ and ‘after accident.’

He shook himself out of his thoughts and focused on the road ahead of him. 

As he rode on, he got to the part of the route that used to be his favorite. It was a smallish road with water on one side, and forest on the other.

He took in a deep breath, and sighed.

He’d missed this. The wind in his hair, the smell of morning air around him, warm sunlight on his face…

Yeah, he’d really missed this.

Twenty minutes later, Hiccup found himself walking down the hallway at school in Astrid’s body, wearing her clothes and her backpack. Gods, this was so weird. 

Suddenly having two organic feet again was still messing with his brain. He’d lost count of the amount of times he’d almost tripped over it. 

He looked around for Astrid. They still needed to switch phones. Where was she, where was she… 

He spotted his own lanky form supported by crutches, and hurried up to her. 

“There you are,” he said. 

They walked over to a spot a little ways away from the crowd of students. He then grabbed her phone and handed it over to her.

“Thanks,” she said, briefly smiling at him. Nope, still not used to seeing his own face smiling at him. Ugh, he hated his teeth. 

“Oh, by the way, should we tell anyone about this? That we switched?” she asked, keeping her voice down to avoid anyone overhearing.

“Who would believe us? They’d either think we were playing an elaborate prank, or that we’ve both gone insane, probably,” he said.

“True,” she sighed. “So I guess we just… Pretend to be each other and hope for the best?”

“Yep.”

“Wait, should we… switch our phones back? So no one asks why we have each other’s phones?” Astrid asked.

“Oh, yeah, you’re right. I-I didn’t think of that. Here,” he said, showing her the PIN to unlock. She did the same just as the bell rang. 

“Good luck,” he said, sighing.

“You too.”

Hiccup walked to the group of girls he knew were Astrid’s friends.

“Uh, why were you talking to _Henry_?” asked a girl with short, brown hair. Hiccup vaguely recalled her name was Hannah. He inwardly cringed at her tone; it was clear she didn’t hold him in high regard. Not that that was anything new. He bit back a sarcastic retort as they started walking to class together.

“Yeah, weren’t you mad at him yesterday?” a girl with black hair and green eyes added, sounding curious. Ah, that was Heather Berserk, Dagur’s younger sister. Hiccup had been in the same class as Dagur before the accident.

“Oh, uh, yeah, but uh, we talked it out just now,” Hiccup said.

Heather lifted her eyebrows in disbelief.

“Talked it out? Who are you and what have you done to Astrid Hofferson?” she asked.

Hiccup had to fight the urge to snort. _If only she knew._

“Yeah, uh, he came up to me, and… apologized, so we’re good,” he said, smiling, hoping he’d sold the lie. How was any of this a good idea again? Why was this happening? Right, because somehow they’d swapped bodies and Astrid had insisted on going to school.

“Well, if you say so,” Heather said, a small frown on her face. 

“You were kinda right, though, calling him useless,” Hannah said. “Someone had to call him out on it.”

Oh. He didn’t like where this was going.

One of the girls, someone he recognized but didn’t know by name, tutted and spoke up.

“Ugh, why are we talking about Henry of all people? Don’t we have more important things to discuss?” she said, whining.

Ah yes, of course. 

He wasn’t that important.

He tuned out the rest of the conversation.

\- ♢ -

Astrid had just finished Hiccup’s Math class and had gone to get her lunch (or, Hiccup’s lunch) from the cafeteria.

“The usual, Hiccup?” the staff member standing in front of her asked. He was a short, squat man with brown hair, named Mr. Mulch. He shared the job with Mr. Bucket, a taller man with blonde hair.

“Um, yeah,” she answered.

“Here ya go, lad. Enjoy!”

Astrid smiled at him and walked away with her tray. She glimpsed down to see what Hiccup’s ‘usual’ was, and frowned slightly in disappointment. No chicken? And no salmon either? Aww.

She almost went to sit with her friends before she caught herself. Where did Hiccup sit…? Oh, it must be with Finley, his friend. What was his nickname again? Fishsticks? Fishman? No, that can’t be it. She remembered it had something to do with a fish, but what was the other part?

She spotted him at a table in the back, and started to walk over. 

…It was rather hard to actually get there, though, because she was relying on crutches and carrying a tray with food at the same time. She heard a couple of people whisper and giggle as she clumsily walked past, and she got the nasty feeling it was at her expense. It was weird, having people react to her like that. Or, well, they weren’t really reacting to her, they were actually reacting to Hiccup. She was just the one experiencing it at the moment. 

She prided herself on her ability to not care what other people thought of her, but this felt almost… humiliating.

As she sat down, she caught sight of Hiccup, who had a mildly panicked look on his face (well, technically it was _Astrid’s_ face) as he sat amongst her friends. They locked eyes for a moment and Astrid shot him an encouraging smile. He managed a very nervous smile back. 

“Why are you smiling at Astrid? Didn’t she yell at you yesterday?” Finley’s voice said. Astrid tore her gaze away from Hiccup and focused on the conversation.

“How do you…?” she began.

“I heard some people joking about it,” he said, his tone disapproving.

“Oh. Um, yeah, she did.”

“What happened? They were saying you suddenly ran off. And why didn’t you tell me?” he said, his eyebrows furrowed.

Astrid squirmed slightly in her seat. Okay, this was awkward. She would have to tell him she had called his friend, who was missing a leg, useless. Not that she knew he _had_ that disability at the time, but even without that knowledge, she knew her temper had gotten the better of her a little bit. Honestly, that really hadn’t been her proudest moment. 

She’d made a mistake. Now she would just have to own up to it. She was a Hofferson, and a Hofferson was fearless and brave. She could do this.

“She, um, called me useless.”

Finley’s eyes widened for a split second, then they narrowed to slits.

“She _didn’t_ ,” he said, his voice suddenly sounding very cold. Uh oh.

“Yeah.”

“Did she… does she know?”

What? What is he talking about?

“Eh?”

“About the nickname thing.”

Nope, she definitely did not know about ‘the nickname thing.’

“I don’t… think so?”

“I truly hope she doesn’t,” Finley said, “Because if she _does_ , and she used that word intentionally, I can officially say that I dislike her. But I’ll hold off on my judgement for now.” He looked over at who he thought was Astrid, and glared at her for a second. 

Huh? She was definitely missing something here. 

The fact that Finley was ‘holding off on his judgement’ on her stung a little. But on the other hand, she could also appreciate that Hiccup seemed to have a loyal friend on his side. And maybe she did deserve a little judgement for calling him useless. 

“So, what happened after?” Finley asked.

Uh oh. She had no idea where Hiccup had run off to. She’d been too busy being angry at him, and then _maybe_ also feeling a little bad about her outburst. If there was more to this, like this conversation was alluding to, maybe he had needed a moment to collect himself or something? Gods, what was she supposed to say here?

“Uhh, I… Just had to get away for a moment?”

“Did she apologize?”

“...No. We met up again and finished the questions and avoided it ever happening at all, basically,” Astrid admitted.

Gosh, she felt more and more terrible by the minute. She hadn’t apologized then, and she hadn’t apologized this morning, either. And that was _after_ she knew about the leg. Everything had happened so fast, she had completely forgotten about it.

“You should tell her it hurt you, Hiccup. She’s not like Dogan. If she has any decency, she’ll apologize. It’s the right thing to do,” Finley said, taking a bite out of his grilled cheese sandwich.

It was indeed the right thing to do. And a Hofferson always tries to do the right thing. 

She made a vow then and there that she would set this right.

They were mostly quiet as they both finished their food. Finley threw her a couple of curious glances every now and again. 

“Woah,” he said suddenly, catching Astrid off guard.

“What?”

“You just ate all of that,” he said, in a tone of disbelief.

“...Yes?”

“You never do that.”

Woops. 

“Oh! Uh, I was just... very hungry?”

Finley stared. 

“That’s a first,” he said.

Astrid saw her chance to apologize when lunch was over and Hiccup was walking out of the cafeteria with her friends. She took in a deep breath, released it, and approached him. She pulled him aside, away from her friends.

“Hey. I wanted to say sorry. For being rude to you at the museum. I was moody, and I took it out on you,” she said. 

Hiccup’s eyes widened and then he shook his head, avoiding her eyes. 

“Thanks. It’s fine, really. And, um, I’m sorry for running off like that.”

“Don’t worry about it, I deserved it,” she said, smiling.

She still kinda wanted to know where he had run off to, but she didn’t want to pry. 

She saw Hiccup was about to say something, but he got cut off.

“Astrid, you coming?” shouted one of her friends.

Astrid turned her head and had almost shouted out an affirmative, but caught herself just in time. Ah, yes, Hiccup was in her body. Almost forgot. Woops.

She looked back at Hiccup, who had one of the corners of his mouth quirked up in a smile. He’d definitely noticed her little slip-up.

“See you later?” she asked. 

“Yeah. Good luck.”

“You too,” she said, watching him turn around and walk towards her group of friends.

“He was talking to you _again?_ What did he want from you?” she heard one of them say in a disdainful voice. She cringed. That… wasn’t very nice. Were her friends always like this about him, and she’d just never noticed? 

Or cared?


	6. Time with Toothless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small reminder that this fic deals with self-harm. This is the first chapter where it’s gonna be discussed. Stay safe!

The bell for her last period of the day rang and Astrid hurried over to Hiccup’s locker, to switch out books and get his coat. Walking towards the school entrance, she checked his phone. She had a message from Gobber telling her he was waiting for her (okay, technically he was waiting for Hiccup) at the school parking lot to pick her up.

She figured Hiccup was probably home already, since she knew today was one of the shorter days on her schedule. She decided to shoot him a message.

15:44 | **Hiccup:** _You home yet?_

She spotted Gobber and waved at him, then got in the car and looked to see if Hiccup had responded yet.

15:45 | **Astrid:** _Yeah  
_15:45 | **Astrid:** _Why?_

15:47 | **Hiccup:** _I figured we could switch phones after school  
_15:47 | **Hiccup:** _And we have some more figuring out to do when it comes to stuff like homework_

15:48 | **Astrid:** _You’re right  
_15:48 | **Astrid:** _Lol it’s really weird seeing my own name talking to me_

15:48 | **Hiccup:** _Yeah same_

15:49 | **Astrid:** _You’re probably still on your way home, right?_

15:49 | **Hiccup:** _Yes_

15:49 | **Astrid:** _Text me when you get there and I’ll come over  
_15:49 | **Astrid:** _We can say it’s for the museum assignment if anyone asks_

15:50 | **Hiccup:** **👍**

They met up soon after and retreated to Hiccup’s room. Gobber had gone home after dropping her off and Hiccup’s dad was still away for work, so they were home alone. 

They had just settled into Hiccup’s room when the black ball of fur was back. 

He took one look at Astrid and Hiccup, hissed at Astrid, promptly walked over with a slightly uneven gait, and plopped himself down on Hiccup-in-Astrid’s-body’s lap. Hiccup stared in amazement for a moment, then laughed.

“Looks like someone’s figured it out all on his own, huh bud?” he said, smiling, reaching out to scratch the cat’s cheeks. He purred happily in return.

“I swear he’s the smartest animal I know. And that’s saying something, right, Toothless?” Hiccup said. It reminded Astrid of something she wanted to ask.

“Hey, I was wondering, why is he called that?” Astrid asked. 

Hiccup snorted in response. “Weird name, I know. He’s missing a couple of teeth. Plus, it describes him perfectly, he’s just a big softie once you get to know him,” Hiccup said, grinning at Toothless, who was nothing more than a happy ball of purring fluff at the moment.

He was no longer hissing at her, that was definitely an improvement. Instead, he just looked at her with half-lidded eyes as he lay contently in Hiccup’s lap.

“Hey, um, can I pet him? I don’t have a lot of experience with cats,” she asked, feeling a bit uncertain.

“Here, just hold your hand out like this,” Hiccup said, grabbing her hand (technically it was _her_ hand grabbing _Hiccup’s_ hand). She felt a tingle shoot through her body at the contact. He arranged her fingers kind of like she was pointing at something, prompting her to relax her hand and hold out her index finger slightly.

“Hold it in front of him and slightly below him, so your hand isn’t towering over him… Yeah, like that. See, now he’s sniffing you. Hey, he likes you!”

Toothless stood up in Hiccup’s lap to rub his cheeks on Astrid’s hand repeatedly. Astrid smiled, but then she suddenly noticed he was missing his left leg.

“His leg...” she said quietly.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, we match.”

“Did... Did you pick him because of that?” she asked. The question tumbled out of her mouth before she realized it might be a little too personal. 

Hiccup kept his eyes on Toothless as he answered her.

“No, he was already like this when I found him, which was… before.”

Astrid nodded and bit her lip. She suddenly felt guilty for not really knowing anything about the accident. Here she was, in Hiccup’s body, which was missing a left foot, and she didn’t even know how that had happened. 

And she couldn’t just ask him about it now.

“I, um, should probably show you what he eats,” Hiccup said, standing up and beckoning her to follow. 

“Oh. Yeah, sure,” she said. She struggled with the crutches for a moment as she stood up. She saw Hiccup stumble a bit, too. 

“And I’m terribly sorry, but you’re gonna have to clean his litter box as well. I’ll try to do it for you as much as possible?” he said, a pleading note in his voice.

“Alright. Guess that’s part of having a cat, and now it’s my turn,” she said, a little amused. 

“Yep. Do you have any pets that I should take care of in return while we’re like this?” he asked.

“No. My parents didn’t want any, said they make too much mess,” she said, sighing. He nodded in response. 

He showed her ‘wet food’ and ‘dry food,’ explained the difference, and told her when, what, and how much to give Toothless. She pulled out her phone (it was actually her own again now) and she put the instructions in her Whatsapp chat with Hiccup, so she’d have access to it on both phones.

“Did you ever want one? A pet, I mean?” Hiccup asked.

“Yeah. When I was younger, I asked for a dog. Nowadays if I were ever allowed to get a pet, I’d probably get a bird. I even–” she cut herself off, shaking her head. 

“...You even what?” Hiccup prompted.

“It’s stupid.” 

“It probably isn’t. I mean, I have a cat named Toothless, I’m really not the one to judge here,” he said, shrugging. 

Astrid chuckled. 

“You’re right. Okay. I looked it up and I really want a female blue parakeet. I already read up on what they need and stuff and... um, I already have a name. Stormfly.”

Astrid felt embarrassed. Hiccup probably thought this was weird. Who names a pet they don’t have and can’t even get? Why was she even telling him this? 

She looked over at him, expecting him to laugh or something, but there was no judgement or malice in his expression. She just saw her own face looking back at her with a slight smile.

“That’s a pretty name,” he said softly.

“Thanks.”

“I hope you can get Stormfly one day. Hopefully soon.” 

“Yeah, I hope so too,” she said, sighing.

“...And when that time comes, I could take care of Stormly for a couple of days, so I can repay you for you having to scoop cat poop while you’re in my body.”

Astrid snorted loudly. 

“I’ll be sure to remember that,” she said, smiling.

“And speaking of cat poop, the litterbox is over there,” he said, pointing towards a small nook at the beginning of the hallway. They made their way over.

“Here it is,” he said dramatically, holding up his hands like he was presenting a big prize at a game show. Astrid grinned.

He showed her how to use it and Astrid found it wasn’t as gross as she thought it was. Still gross, but not _that_ gross. If that made sense.

As he explained something else to her, she took a moment to study him. It was weird to see Hiccup’s mannerisms in her body. She noticed he shrugged and talked with his hands a lot, and his face, which was now her face, was very expressive. 

“Okay, that’s done. Should we, uh, start on homework?” Hiccup asked. Astrid nodded.

Astrid realized that just a couple of days ago, she hated having so many of the same classes as Hiccup. Now, it was a blessing, because it meant that they could at least do that homework together. For the other subjects, they wrote down their answers and then the other would copy it in the correct handwriting, so the teachers wouldn’t accuse them of cheating. A little tiresome, but it worked. Astrid wasn’t going to let this weird switch affect her grades. 

They were actually quite productive. She was glad Hiccup was working with her on this, not against her. They even got the museum essay finished in record time.

For the first time, Astrid realized she appreciated Hiccup being just as smart as her, instead of seeing it as a challenge to her own grades. 

\- ♢ -

Hiccup couldn’t believe he was hanging out with _Astrid_ of all people. And everything was going so well, too. This whole situation was so unreal. Was he _really_ sure he wasn’t just dreaming this whole thing? Maybe it was some weird pain- or fever-induced dream. It wouldn’t be the first time.

He’d packed up Astrid’s stuff and was about to go ‘home,’ when she stopped him.

“Oh, hey, before you go, can you braid hair?” Astrid asked.

“Uh, no, not really, why?”

“I always wear it in a braid at school, so you better learn fast.”

“Alright,” he said, nodding.

“Okay, we’re gonna need a mirror...”

“Got one in my bathroom,” he said, pointing towards it.

“Oh, yeah, I remember. That’s were I first saw I had your face.”

Hiccup snorted.

“Sorry about that.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Astrid asked, looking a little confused.

“Y’know. My face. It doesn’t exactly win any beauty awards,” he said, aiming for sarcastic.

“I think your face looks fine,” she said earnestly. 

Hiccup felt his cheeks grow hot.

“R-really? I’ve had to look at my face a lot today and it’s…” he said, trailing off. He suddenly felt his throat going dry. 

“Yeah, I know, it’s… it’s really weird. And off-putting. But, Hiccup...” Astrid said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with your face. I mean it.” 

Could his cheeks get any more hot? Surely, they’d burst into flames soon.

“T-thanks. And, um, nothing’s wrong with your face, either,” he responded. 

That didn’t even begin to describe how pretty her face was. Like, look up the definition of perfect in any dictionary and it would just say _‘Astrid’s face._ _And smile. And personality. And body. And basically just everything about her.’_

Oh gods, he had it so bad for her. And he was still in her body. WHY?

“Thanks. Now, braiding?” Astrid said, shaking him out of his thoughts.

“Oh, yes.”

They sat down in front of the bathroom mirror together. 

“Okay, so, I’m gonna take it out...”

Hiccup nodded as Astrid removed the hair tie from the braid and put it aside. She slowly unwound the strands, being careful not to pull too hard or break any hairs. It was a nice feeling, actually, having someone touch his hair. Well, okay, technically it wasn’t _his_ hair, but that’s what it felt like. 

Hiccup looked at his reflection in the mirror, seeing Astrid’s face staring back at him while the hands that looked like his were busy unraveling. As the strands of hair came down and fell around his reflection’s face and shoulders, he felt his breath catch in his throat. 

_Oh no._

He didn’t know it was possible for Astrid to be even more beautiful. She was absolutely _gorgeous_ with her hair down, like a literal goddess, with golden waves perfectly framing her face. And her hair was so _long,_ and there was _so much_ of it. Oh, how badly he wanted to kiss her… but he couldn’t, because he was stuck in her body, and also she would never see him that way, and she would probably smack him if she knew he was thinking about her like this, and–

“...so much taller now. Uh, Hiccup? Are you listening?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, what?”

“I _said,_ it’s really weird to be so much taller all of a sudden.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s wild, right? You can suddenly reach everything and stuff.”

“...Are you calling me short?” Astrid asked, her reflection glaring at him in the mirror.

“N-no no no! You’re average height. I-I just meant that _I_ could suddenly reach everything. I used to be short until I hit a sudden growth spurt, remember?”

“Ooh, you’re right, I do remember that. You used to be shorter than me. And I guess now you’re shorter than me again,” she said, grinning. 

“How cruel,” he said, sighing dramatically.

“Okay, ready?” she asked. Hiccup nodded.

“Sooo… You take your hair, divide it into three equal parts, like this, then you fold the left one over the middle, then the right one, then left again… It’s a bit trickier when you have to do it to your own hair, but you’ll get the hang of it,” she said, demonstrating. Then she unwound the half-formed braid again.

“Now you try.”

\- ♢ -

It was the end of the day and Astrid was lying on her back on Hiccup’s bed, still clothed. Hiccup had left at dinnertime, informing her she would be home alone for the rest of the night and Gobber would show up again in the morning. He had instructed her to take out one of the leftover meals from the freezer and heat it up. Turned out it was a surprisingly good vegetable lasagna. Must’ve been homemade.

He’d also shown her the medication he had to take on a daily basis, and told her when and how much he would need. It was… quite a lot, actually. Half a dozen, at least. Something about seeing all that medication lined up had made her feel uneasy, but she couldn’t really figure out why.

Toothless hopped onto the bed and walked over her stomach, kneading the bed and settling down on top of the blanket. She was glad he wasn’t hissing anymore. Maybe he had thought this stranger had abducted his human’s body or something, and as soon as he knew Hiccup was fine, he didn’t feel like Astrid was a threat anymore. 

She heaved a big sigh.

What a day.

It seemed like her brain finally had a bit of time to catch up with it all. This truly felt like the longest 24-ish hours she’d ever experienced. She wondered in which body she would wake up tomorrow. Would it be a one day thing? One week? A month? Indefinitely…? 

Better not think about that too much.

Her mind drifted to Hiccup. The time they had spent together was… nice. It was everything around it, having to act as Hiccup, that had gotten her so tired.

It surprised her. Before, she’d always found his behaviour a little weird or annoying, but it was actually just strangely... endearing.

And he had forgiven her so easily when she apologized, hadn’t made a big deal out of it at all.

She looked at the time: 22:08. Time for bed.

She checked the house (a bit clumsily, on crutches and the prosthetic), making sure no doors were unlocked and no windows were open. It was a little off-putting to be home alone in a house she was almost completely unfamiliar with. She comforted herself with the thought that her parents were still close, just in the house next to this one. She also felt safe in the knowledge Hiccup knew where she was.

She peed ( _don’t look, don’t touch, toilet paper is your best friend, UGH this sucks, no offense Hiccup)_ and brushed her teeth. Hiccup’s teeth. They were actually rather nice, with that little gap between his front teeth. 

…He had a nice smile. He looked pretty when he smiled. 

No, wait, that’s weird. She shouldn’t be weird. _Stop that, Astrid._

She walked back into Hiccup’s room and searched his closet for pajamas and underwear. Having to go through a boy’s underwear drawer was _not_ something she thought she’d ever need to do, but here she was, nonetheless. 

Next up, actually changing again. She shimmied out of her pants without looking and then draped them over her lap to maintain Hiccup’s decency. She struggled with taking off the prosthetic for a moment, but she managed in the end.

She was in the process of pulling on Hiccup’s pajama pants when she noticed something red in the corner of her eye. She glanced down automatically, thinking she might have accidentally hurt herself. 

She froze.

Cuts.

Those looked like cuts. 

Intentional ones. 

A sense of horror crept up on her as she looked more closely, seeing red, pink, and white lines all over Hiccup’s upper thighs. His left thigh had significantly more of them compared to his right.

What scared her the most were the wounds that looked just about one or two days old. 

Among the cuts, there was a single word carved into his skin. It made her heart drop to her stomach. 

_USELESS._

Her insides suddenly felt ice-cold.

For him to do something like this to himself… Just how bad must he have been feeling? Did he really think that? That he was useless?

_She had said that to him._

She felt a terrible sense of guilt creep up on her. Her apology after lunch seemed rather shallow and rushed, now. Did… did he cut himself after she shouted at him at the museum? Was she partly responsible for these wounds?

First the leg, now this...

She never even considered that there may be more to him than met the eye. He was just someone to be bested. He was just someone who had annoyed her because he wasn’t walking fast enough and she wanted to hurry up.

Did anyone know about this? Gobber? His father? Was he getting help for this?

Okay, she needed to figure this out. But what to do? How could she help?

How was she supposed to bring this up with him? She couldn’t exactly go over to him right now, it was late. Calling him wouldn’t be an option either, she didn’t want her parents waking up and overhearing Hiccup on the phone. Maybe a text? 

Yes, texting him would be good. That way he could read over the words and take his time to respond. 

22:27 | **Astrid:** _Hey Hiccup, I promise I wasn’t looking intentionally but I saw the cuts, I’m so so sorry. I have no idea if anyone else knows about it, but I promise I won’t go around telling it to everyone, so you don’t need to worry about that. I know we don’t know each other very well, but seeing as we’re currently stuck in each other’s bodies I want you to know you can talk to me. I want to help._

22:28 | **Astrid:** _Oh and Hiccup? You aren’t useless. I feel really bad about saying that to you because it’s definitely not true_

She waited for a little while before going to sleep to see if he would respond.

She saw the little blue ‘read’ checks appear next to her messages.

He didn’t text back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (there’s no suicide attempt before y’all start panicking)  
> Please note that in a perfect scenario, it would have been better if Astrid had waited a little bit to bring it up, to pick a moment where they were both calm to talk about it, instead of immediately texting Hiccup. This isn’t a perfect scenario, however. But yeah, IRL please look up some resources on how to best help a loved one struggling with self-harm.  
>   
> Also: this was written from the perspective of someone who has self-harmed in the past. I have tried to tackle this issue with sensitivity. I have absolutely no intention to either 1) glorify the behavior or 2) condemn the people that do it. It’s a serious issue. There are a lot of misconceptions about it, like the idea that self-harm is always a suicide attempt. [Here](https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/self-harm/related/self-harm-myths/) is a quick article that clears some of them up.  
> If you are currently struggling, I can only say this: you are not alone. Please seek help.  
>   
> Oh, and if anyone thinks the word on his skin is unrealistic, carving words into one’s skin is absolutely a thing that happens. Let’s just say I have personal experience with it.


	7. I Know What You Do To Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads-up for a detailed description of a panic attack, and a non-graphic hospital scene.  
> Title is a quote from the song [Missing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFZ3bXAnVMc) by Evanescence. If you want to feel some angsty feels, this is the song for you. It works especially well with Hiccup and Stoick’s father/son relationship before and during HTTYD1. I linked the demo version of the song, not the ‘official’ release, because I think the demo’s a lot sadder and emptier.  
> Anyway, I could talk about Evanescence for ages. On with the story!

She knew.

Oh dear gods, _she knew._

Maybe he could feign ignorance? No, that wouldn’t work. She specifically mentioned in her text he wasn’t useless, and the only reason she would bring that up again, is if she _actually_ _saw_ … 

And then she said she felt bad. That was _his_ fault. 

He shouldn’t have done it. Then she would’ve never had to see it. It must’ve shocked her. Maybe it disgusted her, even.

How could he have let himself slip up like that again? Now Astrid was the one who had to deal with the consequences of his actions. If he had known Astrid was about to inhabit his body, he would’ve never purposefully harmed it. She deserved better.

He’d messed up again. 

His thoughts were racing. He needed everything to just stop and slow down for a second.

That wasn’t happening, though.

Everything was a mess, Toothless wasn’t here to comfort him, he had to live in Astrid’s body for who knows how long, it would only be a matter of time before he inevitably screwed up something else and now she knew what he did to himself and she had to deal with his body and see how _ugly_ it was and and and–

Aaaand now he was having a panic attack. Of course he was. 

Shit. Shit shit _shit._

This couldn’t be happening, not right now, not here, not in Astrid’s body–

Oh, it was happening, alright.

He felt panic claw its way through his chest and grip at his throat. Trying to tell himself to calm down seemed to only make it infinitely worse. He broke out in a cold sweat and he felt like he couldn’t breathe, his breath coming in short, rapid gasps. His hands and feet were starting to tingle and stars appeared in his vision. 

He hated this. He hated himself.

He was feeling everything at once. Shame, guilt, anger at himself, anxiety, and of course, most of all: panic, panic, PANIC, _PANIC–_

“Astrid? Are you okay, honey?”

What? Who was that?

He only noticed he had curled up on himself when hands grabbed his wrists and firmly but gently pulled them away from his face.

“Astrid, what’s going on? Are you in pain? Should we call an ambulance?” The voice said hurriedly, sounding concerned. It was a female voice. Who…?

“No, n-no ambulance,” Hiccup gasped out.

“But does anything hurt? What happened?”

“I’m f-fi-fine,” he managed to get out, shaking his head and trying to pull his wrists free. Instead of being released, he felt himself being pulled forwards and suddenly he was held tight against someone’s chest. He subconsciously learned into the embrace. It felt nice, and warm, and safe.

“Obviously you are not. We’re taking you to the hospital, _now._ Martin!”

“Yes, dear? Is everything okay?” another voice called, coming closer, also sounding concerned. Hiccup blinked a couple times to clear his vision and looked up, seeing a slender, middle-aged man with greying hair enter the room. 

Wait. That was Astrid’s dad. Hiccup then registered the woman currently still holding him was Astrid’s mom. 

Hiccup heard them talking to each other, but couldn’t focus on what was being said. His brain was too busy going over what Astrid’s mom had just said. 

Hospital.

How could he tell them that this was a panic attack, that he didn’t need the hospital, that he just needed to calm down and stop being weak? He _really_ didn’t want to go to the hospital. Where was Toothless? Why wasn’t he here? Toothless always made him feel better...

Oh, right, Toothless was at home, and Hiccup currently wasn’t because he had swapped bodies with Astrid and now he was having a panic attack in her body in front of her _parents–_

 _Okay, Hiccup,_ breathe _. Just breathe, this is temporary, the feeling will fade, remember? Just like all the other times? Yes, okay, just breathe. Just breathe._

_Just._

_Breathe._

Alright, he was feeling slightly better. Just slightly. But still, it was something. 

“C’mon, dear, we’re gonna drive you to the hospital. Can you walk?" Astrid’s mom asked gently. He nodded. He felt faint and was still breathing rapidly and trembling, but he felt a little more in control. 

Hiccup let himself be guided downstairs and into an old-looking car. 

_Oh._

He was in a _car._

As soon as the realization hit, his heart thrummed harder against his chest and he could feel a knot form in his stomach. He felt a wave of nausea and was rather glad it had been a good couple hours since he last ate. His mind started racing again and his breathing picked up.

So much for trying to calm down. Getting into a car while he was still coming down from a panic attack was not a good idea, that’s for sure.

Astrid’s parents occasionally tried asking him something during the ride to the hospital, but he was too busy trying not to freak out to properly respond.

After what felt like an eternity, they pulled into the parking lot. The very minute he got out of the car, Hiccup breathed a big sigh of relief. 

Astrid’s parents took him to a waiting room. He blinked a couple times to adjust to the brightness of the overhead lights in the room, then he glanced around and saw it wasn’t very busy. There were just a couple of people present. Astrid’s dad walked up to the counter where a receptionist sat, while Astrid’s mom stayed with him and sat him down on one of the seats. She grabbed one of his hands and held it in both of hers. He was still trembling.

“Now, can you tell me what’s wrong?” she asked.

“I… don’t know,” he said, untruthfully. He couldn’t say what it was. Astrid had probably never had a panic attack, right? He still had to pretend to be her, no matter how anxious he was feeling right now. 

“That’s okay. Just hold on, alright? We’re gonna get you to a doctor and they’ll figure it all out.”

Hiccup just nodded. He felt really bad for causing Astrid’s parents so much trouble over a panic attack. 

He felt like a burden.

By the time the doctor showed up, his state of panic had faded into a residual feeling of anxiety, still pressing down on his chest but no longer making him feel out of control.

They were taken to a small examination room and the doctor assigned to them ran a couple of tests. Hiccup hated being poked and prodded like this, but he endured it, wanting it to be over as soon as possible. He just wanted to get out of here, away from the sights and the smells of the hospital.

“I’m happy to inform you that your daughter is perfectly healthy,” the doctor said pleasantly, after he was finished.

Astrid’s parents visibly relaxed. 

…Then they looked a little confused.

“Then why was she so upset? Clearly _something_ was wrong,” Astrid’s father said.

“Your daughter was most likely having a panic attack. Was this the first time she experienced these symptoms?” the doctor asked, looking between the three of them. 

“I think so,” Astrid’s mom said, her eyebrows furrowed. “Has this ever happened before, Astrid?”

“No,” Hiccup lied, shaking his head. Okay, technically he wasn’t lying, because as far as he knew _Astrid_ had never had a panic attack before.

“It’s often caused by stress. Busy week at school, maybe?” the doctor asked gently.

“Y-yes, I’m in my final year,” Hiccup said. 

“Ah, I get it, final exams coming up! Yes, yes, I’ve seen it before,” the doctor replied, nodding sagely. 

“So she’s fine? Will it happen again?” Astrid’s mom asked.

“She is definitely fine. But there is no knowing if it will happen again. If it does happen more often, I’m going to recommend you seek out a counsellor or therapist, because it could be a symptom of a mental health issue. But it sounds like this was a one-off. I recommend this young lady gets some rest and relaxation, make sure she doesn’t overwork herself. Too much stress can lead to serious problems down the line.”

After the doctor had talked to them some more, they were free to go. Hiccup felt Astrid’s parents’ eyes on him the entire way back from the hospital. The ride back made him a little anxious again, but he was so tired already that it mostly went by in a blur.

When they arrived back home, it was already past midnight. At this point, Hiccup was absolutely exhausted. The body switch, the busy school day pretending to be Astrid, her finding out about his scars, her parents taking him to the hospital…

To say today had been overwhelming would be a big understatement.


	8. Art

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait between chapters, I got stuck on a scene and it took me a while before I was satisfied with it.  
> Anyway, enjoy!

The first thing Astrid did that morning, after she was conscious enough to remember some of what had happened yesterday, was to check whose body she was in. She felt a sudden spark of hope. Maybe it _had_ just been a 24-hour thing? 

She turned her attention to her legs, and brushed one leg over the other. 

…One foot, one stump. 

She sighed and threw an arm over her face. It was still _Hiccup’s_ face.

Then the realization hit her that her first instinct was to check the leg, instead of literally anything else. That felt… a little wrong. There were so many other differences between their bodies, why did her mind immediately go to his disability?

The stump gave a nasty throb, like it wanted to remind her it was there, instead of an actual foot.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She just wasn’t used to living with a disability, _that’s_ why her mind went there. _Not_ because it was the only trait she now associated with Hiccup. There was more to him, like his sarcasm, his intelligence, and his ability to come up with the weirdest name for a cat ever.

Said cat was currently curled up at the end of the bed, snoring lightly. He lazily opened one of his eyes to look at Astrid as she sat up in bed, stretching. She yawned and reached for her phone, which was lying on Hiccup’s nightstand. 

He hadn’t replied to her texts. 

She put the phone down again with a sigh. Time to get up and get dressed, then. She retrieved some clean clothes from Hiccup’s closet and sat back down on the bed. Starting with pulling off his pyjama shirt, she shivered when the bare skin of her stomach, _Hiccup’s stomach_ , was exposed to the air. She looked at it for a second.

He was a lot thinner than you’d expect from just looking at him. Sure, he was lanky, but without the added layers of clothing he looked almost… unhealthy. His ribcage and hip bones were visible. No wonder Astrid felt cold in his body, there was almost nothing on him. 

Why wasn’t he taking better care of himself?

She quickly slipped on the t-shirt she’d picked out. For a moment, she felt reluctant to move on to Hiccup’s pajama pants. She knew what she would see again.

She winced as she pulled her pants off, causing the fabric to brush against the self-inflicted wounds on Hiccup’s thighs. How had she not felt them earlier? They _stung_.

The fact that he had inflicted this pain onto himself willingly… 

She had no idea why anyone would do that to themselves. She had no idea how to deal with this. 

But she damn well was going to try her hardest to figure it out and get to the bottom of this mess. Oh, and right now she was going to dress his wounds properly, to keep them from infecting. It seemed he hadn’t done anything to treat them himself.

When she was done, she went to the kitchen on Hiccup’s crutches to grab some breakfast. Toothless, who had been grooming himself, sprung up from the bed and followed her out of the room.

Gobber arrived in the kitchen when Astrid was halfway through her slightly-burnt eggs on toast. He looked at her with his eyebrows raised.

“Good mornin’ laddie! Changed your mind about breakfast?” he said.

“Uh-huh,” Astrid said in response. The image of Hiccup’s flat stomach suddenly flashed through her mind. It made her take a particularly big bite of her food. 

Gobber looked at her with slight amusement for a while, then he suddenly seemed to remember something. 

“Oh, by the way, you got any plans for the weekend?” he asked. Astrid shook her head, her mouth full of eggs and bread.

“Think you could help me in the garage tomorrow? Usual salary?”

Salary? Hiccup had a job? Huh. Interesting.

Wait, _crap._ What was she supposed to say? She couldn’t do that! She knew next to nothing about cars!

…Homework excuse? Homework excuse it is.

“Well, I’m… Not sure, I have a lot of homework, and there’s this assignment we did at the museum that still needs to be finished...” she said, trailing off. That last one was a lie, they’d finished that yesterday.

“Ah, that’s okay. Figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. You go do that homework tomorrow and then take some time off to relax.”

“I will,” she replied, feeling relieved.

When Astrid arrived at school later that morning, she looked around for Hiccup in her body. She couldn’t find him, though. He wasn’t with her group of friends, nor was he at her locker. Maybe he was late, or already in class? They shared their first period today, so at least she would be able to see him there. They still needed to switch phones before their friends started asking awkward questions. 

And maybe, _just_ maybe, she also wanted to check up on him, after what she had accidentally discovered about him last night. She needed to see if he was okay.

He was not in first period. Astrid found out why when the teacher started checking attendance. 

“Henry Haddock?”

“Present,” Astrid said.

“Astrid Hofferson… Ah, I see she’s been called in sick today.”

_Sick?_

“Would anyone be willing to inform Astrid about the homework for today’s lesson?” the teacher continued.

Astrid thought quickly, figured this was her best bet, and immediately put up her hand before someone else (most likely Heather) would beat her to it.

“I can do it, sir, we’re neighbours,” she said quickly.

“Ah, wonderful! Thank you, Henry. I’m sure she will appreciate that,” the teacher said, before they continued with the list of names. 

Astrid looked to her left and saw Finley give her a questioning look. A few seats away, Heather looked very, very confused.

“So, what was that about?” Finley asked as they walked out of the classroom towards their next lesson, which would be Art, a double period.

“Uh, what?” Astrid said, distracted. Why was Hiccup off sick? Did something happen?

“The thing with Astrid’s homework?” Finley continued, jogging her memory. 

“Oh, that! W-well, she apologized yesterday,” Astrid said. She noted that having to refer to herself in the third person felt very odd.

“Really? What did she say?” he asked, sounding genuinely interested.

“That she was having a bad day and I– uh, she took it out on me and felt bad about it afterwards.”

“Oh. That’s… I’m glad she apologized,” he said.

Astrid didn’t really know how to respond, and settled for a “yeah, me too,” just as they arrived in front of the Art classroom. Astrid vaguely remembered how it looked from back in her first year. It had been her weakest subject, and she had dropped it as soon as she could. Hiccup must be decent at art if he was still taking it. She had spotted him absently doodle in class a few times, but she’d never really gotten a good look at it. She’d always thought it was a waste of time, something he did while he should’ve been paying attention.

They entered the classroom and sat around one of the six big tables that stood there. The room was just as colorful and chaotic as Astrid remembered, maybe even more so. There were definitely a lot of new paintings and sculptures, which were displayed all over the place.

She saw Finley and other people around her take out their sketchbooks and supplies, so she quickly followed suit. Hiccup’s sketchbook looked a little worn, a clear sign of frequent use. She looked up when one of the Thorston twins, the male one, sat down at their table just as the final bell rang. Tuffnut did art? _Interesting._

“Welcome, class!” the Art teacher said to them. She was a lady in her 30’s, with very, _very_ long, dark blond hair, which was woven into a complicated braid.

The teacher explained the schedule for today’s lesson, reminded the class of the deadline for the current project, and then went on to explaining various different concepts. Astrid had trouble following any of it. She wasn’t supposed to be in this class, after all, so she was forced to pretend like she actually knew what the teacher was talking about. 

She had no idea art could get so technical. A sense of unease crept up on her, a nagging feeling that she was incompetent, that she didn’t belong here. 

After the teacher was finally done with her explanation, she directed the class to start working on their own. What could Hiccup be working on right now? The teacher didn’t really give any indication of what this project was supposed to be. Or well, if she did, it was definitely lost on Astrid.

Astrid looked at Finley, whose sketchbook was very neat and ordered, and then at Tuffnut’s sketchbook, which was the complete opposite. The contrast was rather amusing. Then she looked down at Hiccup’s, which kinda sat in-between, as she had noticed earlier. She opened it up and riffled through the pages, hoping that whatever Hiccup was working on, it would be on the last few. She saw glimpses of pencil sketches and fully colored pieces, intricate designs and schematics.

Woah. 

She couldn’t linger on them now, but she definitely wanted to check them out later when she had the time. They looked _awesome_.

She landed on the page that was marked with a little bookmark, and looked at it. It was a silhouette of a young man, filled with all kinds of tiny things, rendered in amazing detail. She noticed various notes in Hiccup’s handwriting all around the drawing. At the top it said ‘ _Self - final draft?_ ’ 

This must be the current project, she guessed.

She studied the drawing some more. She could make out the shapes of what looked like dragons, gears, cats, various technical parts, and... was that a person drawn inside the silhouette? The silhouette itself also had a cat draped over its shoulders. Was that supposed to be Toothless? The leg on the right, which was the figure’s left, looked different. The things that filled it up were drawn in a more twisted, crude way. There was a car in there somewhere, as well as a set of straight lines.

Yeah, no doubt about it. This was Hiccup. 

Astrid felt a twinge of something she couldn’t really identify as she looked at the drawing. Sadness, maybe? Guilt? Her thoughts got interrupted when Tuffnut spoke up. 

“Uuugh, I have absolutely zero inspiration,” he groaned, letting his head fall onto the table.

“What do you guys have so far? Anything good?” he then said, leaning over to look at Finley’s and Hiccup’s sketchbooks. He proceeded to groan again.

“Aw, man, not fair, H! How come your drawings always look so good?!”

“ _Maybe_ it’s because Hiccup actually takes the time to draw, instead of waiting for a magical burst of inspiration, Tuff,” Finley said, his tone disapproving.

“Fishlegs, dude, my art _needs_ that spark of magical inspiration, you know that,” Tuffnut said.

Ah, now Astrid remembered Finley’s nickname was Fishlegs, _finally!_ She silently thanked Tuffnut.

“Plus, my man Hiccup here is the one with magic, I’m telling you,” Tuffnut continued, gesturing wildly at Astrid-as-Hiccup, his eyes wide. 

“It’s not magic, he’s just had a lot of practice, right, Hiccup?” Fishlegs said, looking expectantly at Astrid. “Art is a skill, you can get better at it if you practice a lot.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess?” she said, feeling out of place again.

“Plus, it really helps if you study the theory as well, like how perspective and light work, and knowing basic anatomy, and–”

“Yeah, yeah, no thanks, I’ll pass. I’m gonna do a Jared 19 on this one,” Tuffnut interrupted.

“Jared 19? _Really_?” Astrid said in a flat tone, raising her eyebrows.

“Yeah, man, he’s like, everything I aspire to be in life,” Tuffnut said enthusiastically, a dreamy look appearing on his face.

…Astrid couldn’t tell if he was actually serious or not.

“Uh, Tuff, you do know you can’t actually _unlearn_ how to read, right?” Fishlegs said. 

“Oh, c’mon, really? Can’t a man dream?!” Tuffnut said.

Yep. Both Astrid and Fishlegs decided to let him dream.

“Oh, I got it!” he suddenly shouted. “I’m gonna draw Chicken and use her actual feathers in my drawing!”

Astrid shared a look with Fishlegs, who looked both amused and disgusted at the same time.

“...Good luck with that, Tuff, although I don’t see how that fits in with the theme,” he said. 

“Don’t you see? Chicken is part of me, part of my _‘self’,_ so of course she’s gonna be in my drawing,” Tuffnut said, as if stating the obvious.

“I… guess that makes sense,” Fishlegs said slowly, sounding very unconvinced. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna actually continue with my work. I finished my first draft yesterday, but I still feel like something is missing in there… Oh! Hiccup, what do you think?” he asked, looking at Astrid as he pushed his sketchbook in her direction.

Astrid took a closer look. It was a portrait of Fishlegs’ face, drawn in a sort-of blocky way.

“Uh, maybe it needs…” Astrid cast around for something that would sound artsy. “...More personality?”

Fishlegs’ eyebrows furrowed for a second, then his face lit up.

“Yes, you’re right! I focused too much on the outside, I have to put something in there about me on the inside. Thanks, Hiccup!”

Astrid was perplexed. That actually helped??

“Uh, no problem,” she said, turning to look at the page in front of her again. 

Now what?

Maybe she could just sorta… redraw this on the next page. Yeah. It would _look_ like she was doing something, anyway. 

As she started sketching, it looked like she had Hiccup’s drawing skills, just like she had his handwriting. Well, for the most part, at least. Something about it still looked off. She guessed it had to do with the fact she didn’t have his mind. How had he even come up with this drawing? Both the idea and execution were amazing, it was so creative. She could never think of something like this.

After Art was over, she sneaked off into one of the bathrooms. She almost walked into the girl’s one by accident. Woops. Wouldn’t gender-neutral bathrooms be nice for occasions like this? Who knows how often bodyswaps like these happened in high school.

She almost bumped into Dogan on her way into the boy’s room.

“Watch it, Useless,” he sneered. 

_Useless_. The word reminded her of what she’d said to Hiccup. She felt a twinge of guilt. 

Wait, what was she doing again? Ah, yes, she wanted to check her phone.

She had a text from Heather, asking her if everything was okay and telling her ‘Hiccup’ had offered to collect her homework. She already knew that, of course, because _she_ had just done that.

...No new messages from Hiccup. She decided to send one.

**11:02 | Astrid:** _Hiccup, you ok? They said you were called in sick. Just wanted to make sure you’re alright  
_ **11:02 | Astrid:** _Also I just had art and your drawings are really cool :)_

She walked out of the bathroom while her sense of worry grew.

What was going on with Hiccup?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In HTTYD3, Fishlegs is shown to have some level of drawing skills, so I figured it wouldn’t be too OOC to place him in Art. And I thought Tuff in Art would be hilarious, he would make the craziest shit. And of course, we all know Hiccup can draw and tbh I have such a soft spot for Hiccup doing art of any kind!


	9. What Happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for a super mild reference to sex near the end of this chapter :O (how scandalous, I know)

Hiccup sat at the Hofferson’s dining table with a mug of tea and some of Astrid’s homework in front of him. Astrid’s mom sat at the table opposite of him, handing him various pieces of fruit she was preparing. 

It made him feel worse. He wasn’t hungry and he didn’t deserve the attention. Or the food itself, for that matter. If he had been in his own body, he wouldn’t have eaten anything. He was too filled up with guilt and self-loathing already. This was Astrid’s body, however, so he had to make an effort.

He was quite aware of the fact that Astrid’s mom had been keeping an eye on him (well, over who she believed to be Astrid) the entire day. Her dad, too, called home from work at one point to ask how his daughter was doing, and wouldn’t stop hovering when he got home. 

It must’ve come as quite a shock to them that their seemingly perfect daughter had gotten a panic attack. Hiccup felt guilty for making them worry like this and causing this much of a fuss. Astrid was _fine_! It was _him_ who was the problem. 

But he couldn’t tell them that. 

The doorbell rang just as he forced down the last slice of an apple.

“I'll get it!” Astrid’s dad said, standing up from where he was seated on the couch and walking over to the door.

“Ah, Henry, hello!” his voice boomed from the hallway. 

_Crap._ It was Astrid. 

He had read the text message she’d sent him earlier, but he couldn’t think of anything to reply, so he had just… ignored it. He knew he should’ve responded, but all he had been able to do was just stare at it and feel bad.

“Hi d– Mr. Hofferson,” Hiccup heard Astrid say in his own voice. “I’ve got Astrid’s homework for her. Is she okay?”

“Ah, excellent! Yes, yes, she’s alright. Come on in,” he said, stepping aside to let Astrid through.

“Henry! Lovely to see you, it’s been a while,” Astrid’s mom said heartily as Astrid-as-Hiccup, supported by crutches, appeared in the doorway.

Hiccup’s own face was looking right at him, and it was still so unnerving that he quickly averted his gaze again. 

“You and your dad should come over again sometime! You know you guys are always welcome,” Astrid’s mom continued.

Ah, yes, playing the role of a good neighbor and visiting the Hoffersons, one of those great opportunities to embarrass himself in front of Astrid. The last time they’d been over, Hiccup had knocked over a candle and almost set fire to their entire house. And _of course_ Astrid had been there to witness the entire thing. How her parents still liked him after that was a mystery to him, now that he came to think of it.

Oh. It was probably pity. Of course.

He realized he’d zoned out slightly when he suddenly heard Astrid’s mom speak up.

“Well. How about you two go over the homework Henry brought while we get ourselves ready to leave?” she said. Hiccup glanced over at Astrid to see her looking equal parts confused and curious. He, too, wasn’t quite sure of what was happening.

Astrid’s mom turned to address him, of course believing him to be Astrid. 

“Dear, I know we were all going to visit uncle Hoark this weekend, but your dad and I discussed it last night and made a decision. You can just stay home and relax a little bit, you deserve it. We’ll go on without you, I’m sure they will understand,” she said gently, getting up from the table.

“Just be sure to do your homework, alright?” Astrid’s dad added, with a stern but not unkind look on his face.

Hiccup nodded. Had he looked in Astrid’s direction, he would’ve seen her look of utter astonishment. 

Astrid’s parents wandered off and left the two of them alone, causing him to feel incredibly awkward in Astrid’s presence. 

There was a beat of silence between them, in which his stomach churned.

“Hiccup, what happened?” Astrid asked when her parents were far away enough, her voice low to avoid them overhearing.

“Um, it’s sort of a long story, to be honest,” he replied vaguely, hoping she would drop it. 

Of course, she didn’t.

“Well, you better start talking, because my parents don’t usually let me stay home unless I’ve got the plague or something. So now I’m _really_ curious, because you, or should I say _I,_ don’t look sick at all,” she said, looking at him with her eyebrows raised, an expectant look on her (well, his, actually) face.

“W-well, okay, so, um… It’s...” he said clumsily, not really knowing what to do.

This was embarrassing. How was he supposed to tell her that he’d had a panic attack in her body, after he’d found out _she_ found out he self-harmed? And _then_ he had let her parents take him to the hospital, and missed a day of school and homework to boot. He was pretty sure her attendance record was pristine, and he’d gone and ruined it.

He bit his lip and clenched his fists. She was gonna hate him. He had only been in her body for what, a day and a half? And already he had screwed things up.

_Useless._

“Uh, Hiccup?” Astrid asked, her tone suddenly concerned.

“I… I-I…” he tried.

His throat felt like it was sealed shut. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t tell her he’d messed up. It was like her body was preventing him from spilling the knowledge to her. He squeezed his eyes shut, overwhelmed by a wave of self-loathing.

“Hey, hey, Hiccup, it’s okay,” he heard Astrid say in his own voice. A hand touched his shoulder. There was silence for a few seconds before she spoke again.

“Does… Did anything happen last night? Does it have anything to do with what I texted you about?” she said softly.

Wait. _Oh dear gods_. He had to let her know he didn’t do anything to her body. What if that’s what she was concerned about?

His eyes shot open and he turned his head to look at her.

“Y-yeah, but wait, I didn’t– I-I swear I didn’t do anything, I didn’t hurt your body, I promise, you have to believe me, I would never hurt you–”

“Woah, hey, I believe you,” she said firmly, interrupting his panicked rambling. “But you have to tell me what happened. Why did my parents let you stay home?”

Hiccup sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. He was just about t–

“Are you two done?” Astrid’s dad inquired suddenly, reappearing into the living room.

Hiccup was about to reply with ‘yes,’ wanting nothing more than to get the hell away from this conversation, but Astrid lightly kicked him under the table.

“Actually, no, sir, we still have Physics to go over, and our museum report isn’t finished yet, either,” she said. Wow, Hiccup had never heard his own voice sound so convincing while telling such a blatant lie. It would’ve been somewhat comical, were it not for the fact he was feeling so on edge at the moment.

“Ah, Physics! That reminds me, didn’t you have a test last week?” Astrid’s dad asked the both of them.

“Yeah,” Astrid said.

“Did you get your grades back yet?” Martin said, eyeing them inquisitively. They nodded.

“I– um, Astrid got 82%, and I got 100%,” Astrid-as-Hiccup said. Hiccup squirmed slightly in his seat, feeling uncomfortable.

“Well, seems Henry here might be able to teach you a thing or two!” Astrid’s dad said, amused. Hiccup felt his cheeks grow hot. He saw Astrid open her mouth to respond, but she got interrupted by Astrid’s mom, who appeared next to her husband.

“Are you ready, dear? We really should be going now,” she said.

“Ah, yes, yes, you’re right. Well, you two just finish up here. I trust I can leave you alone?” he said, eyeing the two of them with his eyebrows raised.

“Yes, d– sir,” Astrid said. Hiccup nodded.

“Well then. Oh! How about you order a pizza for yourself. You deserve it. Here,” he said, handing Hiccup-as-Astrid some money.

“Oh, uh, thanks,” he said.

They said their goodbyes to Astrid’s parents, then they were alone again. Astrid turned to Hiccup.

“So. Tell me what happened,” she said.

Gods, she was gonna think he was so pathetic. But he had to tell her the truth. It involved her and her parents, after all.

“Okay, so. I, um, sorta had a panic attack. A-and your parents noticed. So they kinda freaked out, because they thought I was in pain or something, and took me to the hospital. The doctor told them it was just a panic attack and we went home again. But it was really late when we got back, so your parents said I could stay home from school today, so, yeah. That happened.”

“Woah. They must’ve been really freaked out,” she said, sounding surprised. Almost impressed, even. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, heaving a sigh and looking down at his lap, wringing his hands.

“What? Why?” she asked.

“Y’know, just… Everything. I made your parents worry and you missed a day of school over basically nothing,” he said.

“It wasn’t nothing, Hiccup. It sounds serious,” Astrid said, a little stern. 

They were both quiet for a moment, then she spoke again.

“Did… did the panic attack happen after I messaged you?”

Hiccup nodded slowly.

“Gods, I… I’m so sorry, Hiccup. I never meant for that to freak you out, I thought I was helping,” Astrid said.

“I-it’s okay, honestly.”

“It’s really not, though. _Nothing_ about this is okay. Does… Does anyone else know about it?” she asked.

He could have lied to her, could have told her he was already working on it and that she should just forget about it, but something made him tell the truth. 

“No, just you,” Hiccup said, shaking his head and looking up at her.

Maybe somewhere deep down, a part of him was relieved that someone else knew about it now. 

“I don’t know if this is too personal, but are you seeing a therapist? Maybe that would help?” she asked cautiously.

“Yeah, I am, they made me go to therapy after–” he started to say, faltering for a second as an unwelcome image flashed through his mind. “A-after, um, y’know. But I’ve never brought it up.”

“...Why not?”

“I… I really don’t know.” 

The seriousness of this topic was starting to make him really uncomfortable. He wanted nothing more than to drop it. 

“For now you really don’t have to worry about it. There’s no way I’m gonna do it while I’m in your body, I swear,” he said, looking at Astrid with a pleading expression.

“I trust you,” she said, both firm and kind. “But, Hiccup?”

“Yeah?”

“Whatever it is that’s… making you do it, whether you’re in my body or not… I mean, what I’m trying to say is… Just, if you do feel the urge, promise me you’ll talk about it, okay? You can tell me, if you want. I swear I won’t judge.”

Hiccup wanted to trust her, but he wasn’t even sure whether or not he trusted himself.

“...Okay. I’ll try,” he said.

“Good,” she said, nodding. “Well then, let’s actually start on some of that homework. You made me miss French,” she said with a smirk, pointing a mock-accusing finger at him.

\- ♢ -

“Ah, there you are! I was starting to wonder whether you’d ever come back at this point,” Astrid heard Gobber say from the kitchen as she closed the front door behind her. The strong smell of dinner cooking hit her nostrils and made her mouth water. Her stomach growled, demanding to be fed soon.

“Oh, eh, sorry, I ended up staying a bit so we could finish some homework,” he said. 

“Ah, you were doing _homework,_ eh?” Gobber said, his tone sly and teasing.

“Oh my god,” Astrid muttered under her breath, hiding her face in her hand. She decided to go to Hiccup’s room for a bit until dinner was ready, keen to avoid any more comments about _doing homework._ What was it with adults always thinking teenagers only did one thing when they were alone together?!

And her? With _Hiccup?_

...Okay, wait, _hold on a second._

That didn’t nearly freak her out as much as she thought it would.

She suddenly thought of his face, with those freckles all over his nose and cheekbones, and his bright green eyes, and how he’d ramble on and on about something he was interested in, like that one dragon at the museum he wouldn’t shut up about, and how pretty he was whenever he smiled with that stupidly adorable smile, and his lips, how they would taste–

_Woah, woah, woah!_

Seriously? Did she really just–

Yep. She did. She did just think about that. 

And to make matters infinitely more complicated, she was currently the one in control of the face she had just been thinking of kissing. She couldn’t even kiss him if she wanted to. _What the hell._

Astrid shook her head, trying to focus on something else.

Ah, right, unpacking Hiccup’s backpack. Yes, that was a good plan. 

She sat down at his desk and leaned the crutches she had been using against it. Toothless, who had followed her into Hiccup’s bedroom, jumped up on the desk with a little “prr” and then settled himself on her lap. She greeted him and gave him a couple pets.

She began unpacking Hiccup’s bag and her eyes fell on his sketchbook. Oh, that’s right, she still wanted to look at some more of his drawings!

She opened up the book and looked in awe at page after page of Hiccup’s works. A small part of her felt jealous that here was yet another thing Hiccup was so much better at than her, but the rest of her was just astonished with what she was seeing. 

Looking at his art felt strangely personal, like getting a glimpse of his inner world.

He had a lovely style, and there were so many different things. She saw cats (lots of sketches of Toothless), dragons in all kinds of shapes and sizes (she recognized that particular black dragon popping up a lot), other animals, landscapes, flowers, even clothing designs… Then there were drawings that looked very technical and complicated. And was that some sort of design for a prosthetic? Woah. Oh, hey, he drew people, too. Bodies, faces, gestures… She saw sketches of Gobber and Fishlegs, and various other people she had seen around at school. And… Oh.

That was a drawing of _her._

It was absolutely gorgeous. 

She stared at it, taking in all the little details that Hiccup’s hand had brought to life. She felt a flutter in her chest as she pictured him bent over this very drawing, all of his focus on it, his long, slender hands capturing her image perfectly onto the paper. Hiccup had put a lot of time and effort into making this drawing of her likeness, and it was… _very_ flattering.

“Hiccup, dinner’s almost ready! Come and help me plate up!” Gobber yelled from the kitchen. Astrid started slightly and looked up from the drawing.

“Coming!” she yelled back.

A couple minutes later, she was sat at the dining table opposite of Gobber and eyed the dish in front of her. Pasta, with some sort of vegetable sauce. She frowned. Yesterday’s dinner hadn’t contained any meat either, which was fine, but now she was starting to miss it a little bit.

“No meat?” she asked, looking up. To her surprise, Gobber bellowed out a laugh.

“That’s a good one, laddie! No, I promise it’s vegetarian, I know you don’t like eating beasties,” he said, smiling and shaking his head.

Wait, Hiccup was vegetarian?

“Oh, by the way, could you make your famous veggie lasagna for Sunday night? Stoic’s just called and said to tell you he’s coming home on Sunday,” Gobber said.

…Stoic? Uh, what was he talking about?

“Oh, uh, sure,” Astrid said, feigning nonchalance.

19:21 | **Astrid:** _Help we have a situation_

19:22 | **Hiccup:** _What??_

19:22 | **Astrid:** _Gobber just asked me to make your “famous lasagna”  
_19:22 | **Astrid:** _1) I don’t know the recipe  
_19:22 | **Astrid:** _2) I CAN’T COOK_

19:22 | **Hiccup:** _1) I’ll help you  
_19:22 | **Hiccup:** _2) that explains why your parents won’t let me go near the stove_

19:23 | **Astrid:** _I had no idea you could cook??_

19:23 | **Hiccup:** _I’m amazed you can’t tbh_

19:23 | **Astrid:** _I’m pretty sure kitchens have a vendetta against me  
_19:23 | **Astrid:** _Soooo can you teach me?_

19:23 | **Hiccup:** _To make lasagna?_

19:23 | **Astrid:** _Yeah_

19:24 | **Hiccup:** _Sure!  
_19:24 | **Hiccup:** _I’ll come over tomorrow when Gobber’s at work_

19:24 | **Astrid:** _Ok  
_19:24 | **Astrid:** _Oh, btw, who or what is stoic?_

19:24 | **Hiccup:** _You probably mean my dad lol  
_19:24 | **Hiccup:** _His name is Steward but everyone calls him Stoick_

19:25 | **Astrid:** _Your family and their nicknames, I swear_

19:25 | **Hiccup:** _So your family has no weird nicknames whatsoever?_

19:25 | **Astrid:** _Nope, just Ingrid and Martin and their daughter Astrid_

19:26 | **Hiccup:** _I’m sure they have some embarrassing nicknames from their youth  
_19:26 | **Hiccup:** _You know what? Maybe I’ll ask them about it_

19:26 | **Astrid:** _HICCUP NO_

19:25 | **Hiccup:** _Hiccup yes >:D_

Astrid couldn’t help but chuckle as she stared at her phone. What a dork.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone’s wondering why Hiccup’s sketchbook wasn’t full of more drawings of Astrid, he has most of them hidden somewhere else so no one will be able to find out about his totally-not-obvious crush on Astrid, heh.  
> Also, thoughts on veggie Hiccup: I headcanon Hiccup being vegetarian (possibly vegan) in modern AU’s, because he’s a big ol’ softie with a big heart for animals, like how much he loves dragons in the canon verse (mind: I’m not saying eating meat means you hate animals or anything) I just feel like it makes sense for his character, I’m not trying to make some sort of big statement or whatever. And if you disagree, that’s fine!! I do also think it plays into the whole “not being what his father wants” issue that he has, he’s more like his mother in that aspect (I can imagine modern AU Valka would be vegan or freegan as well).


	10. Now that I know what I’m without, you can’t just leave me

Bright lights, blurry vision, loud sounds. Pain. Confusion. 

_So much pain_.

There were hands on him and voices around him. Lights were flashing. He couldn’t recognize anything or anyone. His brain felt fuzzy. Nothing made sense.

He felt himself being pulled onto a different surface. Had he been lying on the ground?

Everything hurt. Everything, except for his left leg. For some reason, he couldn’t feel that part of his body at all. 

Amongst all the noise and confusion, there was one single voice that stood out above the rest. Relief washed over him. It was Dad! _Dad was here_! He clung to the sound like his life depended on it. Maybe his life _did_ depend on it. What was going on? Was he in danger? Was his _dad_ in danger?

_And why did his body hurt so much?_

He blinked and suddenly his vision was clear again. No more blurry shapes or vague outlines. Now, he was looking straight up into his father’s face. He was about to ask him what was going on, but his dad spoke up before he could find any of the words.

“You did this,” he said.

“...W-what?” Hiccup asked, feeling very confused. That wasn’t what he’d expected his dad to say at all.

“You did this,” Stoick repeated.

“I don’t understand. Wha-what did I do? What’s happening?” Hiccup asked as his feeling of confusion grew. Why couldn’t his dad just explain to him what was going on already?

“ _You did this_.”

A heavy feeling started to settle in his chest and his stomach. 

Something wasn’t right here. This felt wrong. Very wrong.

Nothing made sense.

…But then he remembered. 

Everything around him collapsed and closed in on him simultaneously.

“No! No, no, no!” he yelled, trying in vain to push it all away.

There was no more pain or confusion. Now all he felt was guilt. 

Guilt, guilt, guilt.

He was being dragged down. It was taking him and dragging him down. Darkness was creeping up on him and _he didn’t know what to do_.

“Dad, I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry!” he desperately yelled up to the shape of his father, towering over him. 

Fear gripped him as his lungs were filled with freezing cold air. He was trying to get up again, get back to Dad, but no matter how much he struggled, he only made himself sink deeper. His limbs were heavy, _so heavy_ , and his left leg was actively fighting against him to pull him down.

“Please! Dad, help me!” he cried out, frantically trying to claw his way back up, trying not to surrender to the darkness.

“You’re useless if you can’t help yourself,” his dad said, his voice sounding hollow. Empty. 

His dad turned away from him, leaving him feeling cold and gasping for air.

He stopped struggling.

Maybe this was what he deserved.

Hiccup woke with a start, his heart beating fast. The room around him was pitch black and it was dead silent, save for the sound of his own heavy breathing.

He felt a shiver run down his spine and realized he was cold and drenched in sweat.

He remembered feeling cold just a few moments ago, too. It was all dark and unpleasant, and it was his fault somehow. His dad was there too, and he…

Wait. It wasn’t real. It was just a nightmare. 

He hadn’t had one of those in a while. 

He turned to lie on his side, but froze when his stump didn’t feel the way it was supposed to feel. The cogwheels in his sleep-addled brain turned for a moment, until he was awake enough to remember he wasn’t in his own body.

Oh, right. He was in Astrid’s room. In Astrid’s _body_.

He shivered again and stared into the darkness. There really was no ambient light whatsoever in the room. It hadn’t really bothered him last night, maybe because he’d been too occupied, but now it made him feel uneasy. Unsafe. Like he was a little kid again, wanting nothing more than for his dad to come and chase away the monsters under his bed.

Suddenly, he realized how much he missed Toothless. Everything was too cold and quiet, there was no warmth against the small of his back and no snoring or purring to break the silence. He’d gotten so used to his bud always being there, that it almost felt like he was missing a piece of himself. 

Toothless couldn’t help him right now. He felt around for the special plushie his mom had once made for him, hoping that could bring him some comfort. His heart dropped when he remembered it was still at home, in his own bed. 

He was alone.

“ _You did this_ ,” he heard the dream version of his father say to him once again.

He curled in on himself and pulled the blankets up to his nose. He squeezed his eyes shut and felt a tear roll down his cheek.

\- ♢ -

Toothless twirled around their legs in greeting as they entered the Haddock house that Saturday. Astrid followed after Hiccup, who was carrying two heavy grocery bags. Hiccup had intended to go shopping for ingredients alone, but when Astrid found out, she insisted she come along too. She was the one asking him for help with the lasagna, the least she could do was accompany him to the store.

She couldn’t carry any of the bags because she was still on crutches, though. When she apologized for not being able to help, Hiccup said he understood and didn’t mind at all. A couple moments later Astrid berated herself, because _of course_ he understood that better than anyone. Had she accidentally implied his body wasn’t as useful as hers, because it currently couldn’t carry a couple of bags? 

She was getting better at walking with the prosthetic. It was a weird mix of Hiccup’s body knowing how to walk with it, while her mind still didn’t fully grasp it. She mentioned it to Hiccup while he stowed things away in the fridge. He suggested that maybe while they were cooking, she could try with just one crutch. He also mentioned not to push it, though. He said he’d learned that the hard way.

“Hey, um, if you don’t mind me asking… How long did it take you before you could walk on it?” Astrid asked him. 

She had so many more questions about the leg. And the accident. 

Actually, she had a lot of questions about Hiccup in general. Something about him was fascinating in a way she’d never quite realized before all of this.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I don’t remember exactly, but it definitely took months.”

 _Months._ Months of learning to walk all over again, something so many people take for granted.

“It must’ve been hard,” Astrid said softly.

“...Yeah, it was,” he replied quietly.

Toothless suddenly reappeared from wherever he had gone off to and walked up to the two of them to inspect what they were doing.

“Hey bud,” Hiccup said, giving Toothless a pet. “Oh, he loves paper bags, look.”

Toothless approached one of the bags that was already empty and stuck his head inside. Then his entire body, except for his fluffy black tail, disappeared into it. He enthusiastically attacked the inside of the bag, causing it to make loud crinkling noises. The bag-with-tail erratically moved from one end of the room to the other. Hiccup snorted and shook his head at his cat’s antics.

They returned to the task at hand, which was getting out the groceries, and were just about finished when Hiccup’s phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and almost tapped the green answer button, but then his eyes went very wide and he froze.

“It’s my dad,” he said, looking up at Astrid.

“...And?” she asked, a little confused.

“I can’t answer with your voice! W-what do we do?!” he said frantically. 

Oooh, of course. Yeah, that wouldn’t be a great idea. Astrid made a split second decision.

“Here, I’ll do it,” she said, holding out her hand.

“Really? You sure?” he asked, looking at her outstretched hand, then her face again.

“Yes, now give me the phone, quick!” she urged. Hiccup did so.

She pressed the answer button and put the phone on loudspeaker, making sure Hiccup could listen in. She hoped his dad wasn’t calling about something personal, that would be _very_ awkward.

“Hi, dad,” she said.

 _“Hiccup, hi! Ah, it’s been a couple days since we last spoke, I am so sorry, lad,”_ Stoick said.

“Oh, uh, it’s okay, I’m glad you had time to call now.”

_“Yes! I actually called a little earlier, too, but you didn’t pick up. Been busy?”_

“Yeah, I just got back from getting groceries.”

 _“Ah, I see. Gobber told you I’m coming home tomorrow, then?”_ he said. 

Astrid looked over at Hiccup, who looked a little surprised. Crap, she forgot to tell him his dad was coming home. She shot him an apologetic look. He shrugged in response.

“He did, yeah,” she said.

 _“Good, good. So. How are you, son? Anything exciting happen over there?”_ Stoick asked. 

Astrid eyed Hiccup, currently standing right in front of her, in her body. She cocked her head and pointedly raised her eyebrows at him. He shot her an amused look in response.

“N-no, not really. Just, y’know, the usual stuff,” she said innocently. Yep, nothing strange about the current situation. Astrid saw Hiccup pressing a hand to his mouth in an attempt to stifle a laugh, and she quickly had to look away again so she wouldn’t burst out into laughter, too.

They talked for a couple more minutes about nothing in particular, then Stoick said he regrettably had to end the call and get back to work.

When Astrid pressed on the ‘end call’ button, they both breathed a huge sigh of relief and were silent for a moment. 

When their eyes met, they simultaneously burst out in nervous laughter.

“Okay, that was _really_ weird,” Astrid said in a wheezy voice. 

Hiccup nodded fervently in agreement. 

“Hey. Thanks, by the way, for taking the call,” he said.

“No problem. Oh, and seriously, sorry I forgot to tell you about your dad coming home. Gobber told me yesterday, when he asked me to cook.”

“It’s okay,” Hiccup replied, smiling.

“Speaking of cooking,” Astrid said, gesturing towards the kitchen.

“Yes, let’s start,” he said, nodding his head.

They started by washing and cutting up vegetables. At first, Astrid was a bit intimidated by the knife Hiccup handed her, but he showed her how to use it safely. 

“Here, like this. You’ll get the hang of it in no time,” he said, reaching out to correct her grip on the knife. Astrid felt sparks shoot up her arm at his touch, which was weird, because those were her _own_ hands touching her. Ugh, talk about confusing. _Keep it together, Astrid!_

“So there’s no meat going in this at all, right?” Astrid asked as she carefully chopped up a tomato.

“Nope. I swear you won’t miss it,” he replied.

“Cool. I never knew you were a vegetarian, by the way,” she said, eyeing him curiously. 

Hiccup chuckled, sounding a little nervous. “Oh, uh, yeah. Have been since I was like, 10, actually. At this point I eat mostly vegan.”

“Why?”

“Hm? What do you mean?” he asked.

“Is it, like, for the animals?”

“Oh, yeah, mostly. That, and I was never a big fan of meat anyway,” he said with a shrug.

Astrid hummed in response. 

She thought that was the end of it, but Hiccup spoke up again after a few seconds.

“I... don’t really go around telling people I don’t eat meat. I’m pretty sure my dad still thinks it’s kinda stupid, he would’ve prefered a meat-eating son with a gigantic apetite, like the rest of the family,” he said.

“...It’s just another thing I disappoint him in, I guess,” he added, shrugging again. He was going for an air of nonchalance, but Astrid saw right through him.

“Hiccup, I’m sure your dad loves you. He seemed so nice on the phone,” she said gently.

“Yeah, but, y’know, he’d love me more if I was… _better_. More like him,” he said, turning his face away from her. 

“...I think he’d like _you_ more as me than myself as me,” he continued, his voice barely audible. 

Astrid wasn’t so sure she was supposed to have heard that at all. 

“Hiccup...” she tried, but he shook his head. He looked back up at her and smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“Sorry. It’s fine, really. Anyway, feel free to eat meat while we’re like this, just… Maybe not in front of people who know I never eat it? That would probably complicate things. Oh, and I hope you don’t get sick from it, some people say that happens if you suddenly eat meat again. Then again, others say that’s just a myth, so who knows.”

“I’ll manage, don’t worry,” Astrid said, smiling. She decided not to push the subject of his father more. For now, at least.

They continued in silence for a while, until Hiccup spoke up again.

“Sorry you have to change so much for me,” he said.

“Hm? What d’you mean?”

“Y’know, you’re suddenly missing a leg, you can’t eat meat, you can’t talk to your friends the way you normally do…”

“Hey, I don’t mind. It’s not like this is your fault, and you’re having to change for me, too. What about you and eating meat, for example?” she asked, thinking about all the things with meat in them that she would normally eat on a daily basis.

“So far I’ve managed to avoid it. But if I need to eat some in order to keep people from thinking we’re crazy, then I’ll do it, I guess. But, yeah, not a big fan,” he said.

They continued making the lasagna, arriving at the final step of assembling everything and stacking the layers of ingredients before it went into the oven. Astrid noticed Hiccup explained and demonstated things to her in a way that was very easy to understand, but without making her feel like she was dumb or ‘less than’ for not knowing these things yet. It felt nice.

“Hey, mind if I put on some music?” Astrid asked, taking out her phone.

“Sure, go ahead. Wait, do you know how to connect to the speakers?” Hiccup replied, looking up at her.

She shook her head. Hiccup showed her how it worked, and within no time she’d selected a suitable playlist off her Spotify and music started playing through speakers that were hung up on the walls. Gosh, Hiccup’s dad really was rich. That sound installation was _impressive_. If she was being honest with herself, she could admit that she’d always kind of envied the Haddock family’s wealth. The fact that Hiccup never flaunted it almost made it worse, like he wasn’t even aware of it at all. She now realized he probably _did_ know it, he just didn’t boast about it because he wasn’t an asshole. 

The more time she spent with him (and _as_ him), the more she realized how wrong she’d been about him.

They were done with the lasagna and put it into the oven. Hiccup punched in the time and started the oven just as a tune on a piano started playing and a female voice sounded through the kitchen.

_“How can you see into my eyes,  
Like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core,  
Where I’ve become so numb” _

“Ah, nice, a true 2000’s emo classic,” Hiccup said, grinning.

A thought suddenly occurred to Astrid as she looked at Hiccup in her body. 

“Hey, you any good at singing?” she asked with a smirking and a malicious glint in her eye.

“Astrid, _no,_ don’t you dare–” Hiccup immediately replied, his eyes widening.

His protests were in vain. Astrid started belting out the lyrics in Hiccup’s voice, making him visibly cringe.

“Oh Gods… Wait. Two can play at that game!” Hiccup then said, joining in and singing the male rap parts in Astrid’s voice as the chorus started.

_“Wake me up!”_

_“Wake me up inside!”_

_“Can’t wake up!”_

_“Wake me up inside!”_

_“SAVE MEEE!”_

_“CALL MY NAME AND SAVE ME FROM THE DARK!”_

Astrid actually went as far as to pick up the wooden spoon they’d been using earlier and held it to her mouth like a microphone. They both went on singing at the top of their lungs, basically making it a contest of who could be the loudest.

Near the end of the song, they were laughing so much that they had trouble actually getting the words out. They both tried to belt the final, longest note out at the end of the song, but they quickly ran out of breath and settled for laughing some more instead. Astrid couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed _this_ hard. She glanced towards Hiccup and was glad to see he was having fun too. He’d seemed a little subdued earlier today.

When they had managed to calm down somewhat, Hiccup looked up from his doubled-over position on the floor.

“So, what’s the verdict?” he asked.

“You can definitely sing,” Astrid said, nodding her head.

Toothless walked up to them just as they were about to get up off the floor again, greeting them with a ‘mrow!’ and headbutting Hiccup’s arm. 

“Hey there again, bud,” he said warmly, reaching out and resting his forehead against Toothless’ while he pet his cheeks. Both Hiccup and Toothless closed their eyes and stayed like that for a moment. Astrid looked at them with a smile on her face. 

“I know it’s only been like, a couple of days, but I really missed him,” Hiccup said, opening his eyes again and heaving a sigh.

“Awww, you’re such a dork,” Astrid said, playfully punching his arm.

“He’s my best friend. Isn’t that right, bud?” he said, looking at Toothless. 

“How long have you had him? I know you said you had him before the… um, accident, but not for how long.”

Hiccup’s eyes (which were technically hers) flicked up to look at her at the mention of the word accident, then he looked down again and kept his eyes on Toothless as he spoke.

“Couple of years. I was playing around in the woods when I found him, injured. His whole left side was a mess, that’s where he’s missing a couple teeth. And his leg, of course. So, we took him to the vet to get him treated. He wasn’t chipped or anything, so they asked us if we wanted to keep him. My dad said no, but I didn’t wanna give him up. I _refused_ to let him go. So we ended up keeping him. And after I lost my leg, I loved him even more. He was there with me, while I was recovering at home. I swear he didn’t leave my side for days. Weeks. Oh, and Gobber smuggled him into the hospital on multiple occasions before that, too.” 

“That’s… beautiful, Hiccup,” Astrid said, smiling. Hiccup looked up and smiled back.

“The leg thing, I love that about him, y’know? He never lets it bother him, never lets it hold him back. He’s just enjoying life.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“I’m still working on that, to be honest,” he said, his voice almost inaudible.

No wonder he shared such a deep connection with Toothless. That cat meant a lot to him, and it was easy to see why. Toothless was amazing.

“I think he misses you, too,” she said as she looked at the fluffy black shape that had crawled into Hiccup’s lap.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, he _really_ knows this is just your body, but not you.”

“Guess he really is a smart one one,” he said, grinning at Toothless as he pet him some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my cats, Yue, is missing her eye and a couple of chips off her teeth on her left side (we don’t know what happened to her, she was found like that and brought to a shelter). But anyway, that’s kinda where I got my idea of cat Toothless’ injuries from. And then the fluffy tail and paper bag shenanigans were inspired by another one of my cats, Narnia :)


	11. Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post this chapter for Hiccup’s birthday, but oops, I’m 2½ days late. I did manage to make some art of him on his bday, which you can find [here](https://twitter.com/ElenaOfTimeArt/status/1366517770825969664) if you’re interested! :)
> 
> !! Warning for some ‘casual’ homophobia in this chapter and a very brief mention of sex and consent. Oh, and Hiccup uses some strong ableist language towards himself at the beginning of this chapter (it includes the word that starts with ‘cri-’ which could be distressing for some people to read). Note that it means in his POV, it’s him as the character commenting on his body with internalized ableism, not me as an author/objective narrator stating those things about his body. Hope that makes sense!
> 
> Okay, on with the story. Enjoy!

Hiccup went home that Saturday evening feeling rather giddy. Sure, the day had started off bad due to the nightmare he’d had, and he’d felt rather awkward during his interactions with Astrid. Fortunately, that had faded away and they ended up having a really good time. The fact that he’d been able to see Toothless again also helped to lift his mood. Oh, and he’d managed to smuggle his mother’s plushie out of his house without Astrid noticing. The fact he hid it from her wasn’t necessarily because he felt embarrassed about owning a stuffed animal, it had more to do with how deeply personal it felt to him. He’d turned to that plushie for comfort for as long as he could remember. He wasn’t quite ready to share something like that with anyone.

They didn’t really talk to each other much on Sunday, apart from a few brief texts. Hiccup wanted to know more about how Astrid’s day went, with his dad coming home and everything, but he didn’t want to bother her. She must’ve been busy. Maybe she was catching up with her friends through text.

Why would she want to spend any more time with him than she had to, anyway? _They_ weren’t friends, after all. Even if it did feel like that a little bit while they were hanging out on Saturday. 

On monday, Hiccup walked into school, mentally preparing himself for another week. It would’ve been a rather uneventful week, were it not for the fact that Hiccup and Astrid were still stuck in each other’s bodies. 

He was just thinking about her when she appeared right in front of him. She motioned for him to follow her and led him to a quiet corner, where she pulled out her phone. 

Right, switching phones. A small voice in his head reminded him that the only reason Astrid was even talking to him right now was because of the swap’s technicalities, not because she actually wanted to.

“Hi Hiccup.”

“Hey,” he said, feeling a bit awkward.

She held out the phone in front of her. He fumbled for his own phone, found it, and handed it to her. He was painfully aware of Astrid’s hands touching his and felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter around nervously. Apparently it didn’t matter which body he was in; whenever Astrid was involved, the butterflies went absolutely wild with no regards to the unusual circumstances.

“If only us switching back was as easy as this,” she said.

“I mean, we _could_ try turning ourselves into phones first,” Hiccup responded.

Astrid snorted and rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant.”

“Sorry, I had to,” he said, grinning.

“Y’know, speaking of switching back, I actually did some research.”

“Did you find anything?” he asked, feeling a little hopeful. 

“No,” she sighed. “Just a bunch of fictional stuff and wild conspiracy theories about lizard people swapping bodies with government leaders and CEOs. Unless you want to try doing a bunch of weird voodoo rituals, we’re pretty much screwed.”

“Yep, we’re screwed. Maybe we’ll keep those rituals as a backup plan, who knows.”

“Let’s just focus on getting through the day for now, I guess. Nothing more we can do,” Astrid said, rummaging through Hiccup’s bag.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Oh, hey, you got my gear for fencing practice, right? You up for it?” she said suddenly as she busied herself checking his schedule.

“I-I think so, yeah,” he said. 

She had explained the rules to him on Saturday, after they’d finished cooking. He knew everything in theory, but he had never actually done it before, which left him feeling nervous. He was probably going to make a fool out of himself, and that would mean he would make a fool out of _Astrid,_ which was the very last thing he wanted to do. 

Maybe a small comfort was the fact that Astrid was giving him the chance at all. She could’ve just told him to call in sick. 

He remembered the first time he found out she did fencing, a couple of years ago. He’d been so starstruck. Like, _fencing_ of all things? _She’s so fucking awesome._

“It’s almost time for class. See you around for homework later?” she asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” he said.

Astrid gave him a small wave, turned around, and walked off in his body, still on crutches. 

Hiccup walked back to Astrid’s friends, who were giving him weird looks as he approached. He decided not to comment on it. He was pretty sure he could guess what they were thinking. 

He looked back at Astrid and a sudden wave of self-disgust hit him as he looked at his own retreating figure. He hadn’t quite grown used to seeing himself from this angle. It was… unsettling.

He felt bad for her. Astrid, capable of so many things, having to live in a body like that. A body that was damaged. Broken. Crippled. 

_Useless._

The first half of the school day was uneventful. At the end of his last class before lunch break, however, Hiccup thought he felt something… rather unusual _down there._ He couldn’t identify what it was, other than that it was an unpleasant sensation. He also felt a stab of pain in his lower abdomen at one point.

This meant that the last 10 minutes of class consisted of him anxiously fidgeting in his seat while waiting for the bell to ring. As soon as it did, he rushed off to the girls’ restrooms.

When he entered the restroom, he saw the female Thorston twin, Ruffnut, was standing at one of the sinks, fixing her braids in the mirror. 

“Hey,” she said casually, cocking her head.

“Hi,” he replied, shooting her a polite smile, then he went into one of the stalls.

It felt a little invasive, but he had to check his underwear. Something was wrong. He was feeling pain and other weird things he couldn’t even describe.

He looked down and saw red.

He felt a sense of panic, followed by confusion, but then it finally clicked.

...Oh. Of course.

Well, that explained a lot.

It was one thing to have the _knowledge_ that having a uterus meant getting periods, but quite another to actually _see_ blood in his underwear like this. Or, uh, Astrid’s underwear.

“ _Shit_ ,” he whispered to himself.

“You okay in there?” came Ruffnut’s voice. Crap.

“Oh, yeah, I-I, uh, just got my period,” Hiccup said. Now _there’s_ a sentence he never thought he would say.

“You good? Need anything?”

“Actually, um, yeah, if you got anything, I, uh… ran out,” he said. He had absolutely no idea if there were any menstrual products in Astrid’s bag. If Ruffnut was offering, he might as well accept it, just in case.

“Tampon or pad?” she asked. Hiccup could hear rustling. She was probably rummaging through her bag. 

“A pad, please,” he replied, slightly hesitant. It seemed like the safer option, because that way he wouldn’t have to stick anything up there. That would just feel wrong on so many levels. The only way he would ever want to touch Astrid there was with her full consent, _definitely_ not like this. 

He hiked up his underwear and pants and cracked the door of the stall open for Ruffnut. 

“Here you go, blondie,” Ruffnut said, handing him a pad.

“Thank you,” he said with a sigh of relief.

“Never thought you’d be the type to forget something like this,” Ruffnut said on the other side of the door. 

Hiccup laughed nervously. “Ah, yeah, I’ve been really busy, so it just… uh, slipped my mind, I guess.”

“Happens to the best of us. You’re lucky I had some spares on me, I forget this kind of stuff all the time,” she said.

“Thanks again, seriously.”

“No problem, Ast. Aaanyway, I’m gonna go get some lunch now, I’m starving. See ya!”

He said goodbye to Ruffnut and looked at the pink package in his hand. Did they _really_ have to brand period products with the color pink? It felt a bit outdated. 

After some fiddling, he was fairly sure he figured out how to correctly apply the pad to his underwear. He exited the stall and washed his hands, then pulled out Astrid’s phone. He figured he should text her to ask where she kept her period stuff.

12:16 | **Astrid:** _Help I just got my period_  
12:16 | **Astrid:** _Your body did, I mean_  
12:16 | **Astrid:** _Ruffnut was here and gave me a pad but will that last the whole day? Do you have anything in your bag??_

12:17 | **Hiccup:** _Omg_  
12:17 | **Hiccup:** _Yeah there’s a blue pouch in the front pocket  
_12:17 | **Hiccup:** _I’m so sorry my body decided now is the perfect time to start bleeding_

12:17 | **Astrid:** _Truly impeccable timing I have to say_  
12:18 | **Astrid:** _Ok I found the pouch, thank you so much_

Crisis averted, he went over to the cafeteria to get his lunch and sat down at the table with Astrid’s friends. He noticed one of them was missing.

“Hey, where’s Heather?” he asked, looking around.

“She had a doctor’s appointment or something, I think,” Brittany said.

“Y’know, sometimes I wonder why we hang out with her, to be honest,” Hannah said.

“Yeah, I mean… Her brother is gay.” Carmen said, leaning forward conspiratorially. “What if it runs in the family and she’s a secret lesbian who wants to make out with all of us or something?” 

“Ew, don’t say that, I let her sleep in my _bed_ ,” Brittany said, recoiling from the table like it had personally offended her.

_What_? Were these girls actually serious?

“She’s y– our friend, what are you talking about?” Hiccup asked before he could stop himself. He didn’t know Heather very well, but she’d always seemed nice. Dagur would absolutely flip his shit if he heard what these girls were saying.

“Why are you defending her? She was totally being a creep to you the other day, we all saw it. Are _you_ a lesbian?” Hannah asked. 

If Hiccup hadn’t felt so flabbergasted, he would’ve found that question funny. Was he a lesbian? No. Was he attracted to women? Yes.

“I’m not. But why would it matter? I’m your friend. She’s your friend.”

“I don’t wanna be friends with a lesbian. It’s gross,” Brittany said, her lip pulled up in disgust. 

Hiccup could feel himself getting angry. How could people still think like this? He _really_ needed to stop himself before he said something that would lose Astrid a bunch of friends. 

Even if said friends had garbage views on gay rights.

“That’s your opinion, I guess,” he said, crossing his arms.

“What’s up with her?” Hannah said under her breath, eyeing the other girls at the table. 

Hiccup pretended he didn’t hear. 

He didn’t bother to join in with the conversation after that. He mostly kept his eyes on his food and picked at it, not eating much. 

Dogan came over to their table at one point to kiss his girlfriend, Brittany. _Yuck_. That display made Hiccup lose his appetite completely, he didn’t even _try_ to eat anything after that. An unpleasant shiver went down his spine when Dogan’s eyes lingered on him-as-Astrid just a tad longer than he was comfortable with. Okay, maybe that wasn’t all that long, because Hiccup was _never_ really comfortable with Dogan around. Luckily, he left soon after.

His mind drifted back to the conversation about Heather. Should he have said more? He definitely wanted to. It wasn’t okay to talk about people like that.

“Get lost, Henry,” he suddenly heard Carmen’s voice say. He looked up to see Astrid, in his body, standing in front of their table.

“Excuse me?” she said.

“Are you stalking Astrid or something?” Carmen asked. 

“Just because you’re neighbours, doesn’t mean she wants to talk to you, y’know,” Hannah added. 

Hiccup’s heart sank.

Right. Astrid really didn’t like him.

“Can I– can she decide that for _herself,_ maybe?” Astrid asked, scowling. 

Everyone turned to look at Hiccup-as-Astrid, awaiting a response. He felt a surge of anxiety and racked his brain for what he should say.

From everything he knew about them, her friends were clearly expecting Astrid to agree with them. Their comments about Heather and LGBT+ people as a whole popped up in his mind, but he pushed them away. This wasn’t about him right now, this was about Astrid and her relationship with her friends. Said friends were under the impression they were doing the right thing by keeping him away from her. Clearly Astrid had, at some point, expressed to them she didn’t want him around.

He had to play the part, right?

“What do you want?” he said, trying to sound disdainful.

Astrid’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“What are y–”

“See, she doesn’t want to speak with you,” Hannah said.

“But–”

“ _Go away_ , Henry,” Brittany said coldly.

Astrid looked taken aback. Hiccup could swear he saw a flash of hurt cross her face before she turned around and walked away.

With a pang he realized he had messed this up.

Right before the bell would ring to signal the beginning of the next class, he checked Astrid’s phone and noticed she’d sent him a text. He opened it with a feeling of dread.

12:53 | **Hiccup:** _Hiccup what the fuck was that about???_

Great. She _was_ angry with him. He’d managed to fuck everything up again.

\- ♢ -

Astrid was _fuming_ as she sat in Geography class after lunch. She’d checked Hiccup’s phone to see if he had sent anything back just before she went in, but his response hadn’t calmed her down in the slightest.

12:59 | **Astrid:** _Sorry I thought I needed to keep up the act_  
12:59 | **Astrid:** _I just did what I thought your friends expected you to do  
_12:59 | **Astrid:** _I’m really sorry_

Just her luck, she shared this class with Hiccup. She glared at him from across the room and he caught her gaze. His brows furrowed and he looked down at the textbook on his desk, not looking back up.

Ugh. She had approached him because she just wanted to ask if he was okay. Getting your first period wasn’t fun, especially not if you were someone who never expected to get one, _ever_.

But no, instead she’d been told to get lost. Had he seriously just turned her away like that, making her friends gang up on her? What was he thinking?!

‘Keeping up the act,’ what the fuck was that about?

_‘I just did what I thought your friends expected you to do.’_

How did that make sense? 

Did her friends really expect her to–

Oh.

Yeah, they did.

The realization hit her like an arrow hitting bullseye. Scratch that, it felt more like an axe.

She’d always been rather cold towards Hiccup. If he’d approached her before all of this, she _would_ have reacted exactly like that.

Having her friends look at her like she was something stuck on the bottom of their shoe, having them gang up on her until she left… it felt _terrible._

Wow.

She had been rude to him all along, and she hadn’t even realized. It was so much more than the one time she’d called him useless.

Her parents would be ashamed she’d been treating another classmate like that.

And uncle Finn? She’d practically been spitting on his memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy oh boy, homophobia. That scene about Heather was based on a real experience I had once, so, personal story time: I’m someone who mostly identifies as female (gender is confusing, I won’t get into it lol). I was sleeping over with a female friend and we both slept in her bed. Afterwards, she said something along the lines of “I’m glad you’re not a lesbian, because then I wouldn’t have let you sleep in my bed,” and my closeted bi ass was like???? Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean I would do anything, even IF I was attracted to her? And jokes on her because 1) I’m on the ace spectrum and 2) I was actually crushing on another one of my female friends at the time, not her, lol. But yeah, I’m glad I’m not in touch with her anymore.
> 
> Feel free to share any of your own experiences in the comments, by the way :) also note that I won’t stand for homophobia (or transphobia!). Please be kind and respectful <3


End file.
